


The Orion Protocol

by annie174



Category: Veronica Mars (TV), Veronica Mars - All Media Types
Genre: F/M, Fix-It, Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-03
Updated: 2020-02-29
Packaged: 2020-07-29 18:41:28
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 10
Words: 37,705
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20086930
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/annie174/pseuds/annie174
Summary: In the immediate aftermath of the final bomb, Veronica finds out things are not as they appear.  A fix-it for the Veronica Mars Season 4 final.  Spoilers for Season 4.





	1. The Protocol

**Author's Note:**

> Like many people, I refuse to believe that Logan Echolls is no more. He was my favorite TV character ever and I for one want more of his story. This is my attempt at a fix-it fic. I am not now nor have I ever been a spy.

In the seconds after the bomb went off, Veronica didn’t see her own life flash before her eyes, she saw Logan’s. She saw a gangly 12-year-old, a cocky 15-year-old, a tortured 17-year-old. She saw the man she fell in love with over and over again, the man she knew was the only man she was meant to love. She saw a hero, in every sense of the word. She saw her husband.

She only gave herself 30 seconds to grieve before she was on her feet, to check on Pony, to rage against the horror. As she emerged from the back bedroom she skidded to a halt.

“Oh God,” she gasped, “he’s OK!”

Clarence Weidman looked up from Pony who was sitting at his feet obediently.

“Your husband is fine, Mrs. Echolls,” a tiny smirk from the tall man.

“How did you know?” she held up her left hand.

“He told us, just now. We’ve initiated the Orion Protocol,” Clarence said.

***2 Years Ago***

“Hey, can we talk?” Logan asked, curled around her naked body, the moonlight bright enough to illuminate the tired lines on his face.

“You need sleep,” she stroked his back and nudged at his shoulder with her nose to encourage him on to his back.

“I will, but we need to discuss something…”

Logan had been home for about 14 hours after a 7-month deployment on an aircraft carrier God knows where. It had been a lot of sex and food so far, but now he had something he had to tell her.

“I actually got back stateside 2 days ago,” he admitted, and she arched an eyebrow at him.

“Had to visit your other lady friend before coming home?” she teased.

“I had to go to Annapolis. I was requested.”

“Are you in trouble?” she frowned.

“No, the um, the opposite actually. They have asked me to take on a different role, with the Navy,” he started and stopped.

She sat up; the sheet wrapped around her body stark blue against her pale skin.

“No more deployments?” she asked hopefully.

“Different schedule, more frequent but usually shorter than the carrier,” he said quietly.

“Logan?” her heart was racing with possibilities.

“Intelligence,” he said barely loud enough to hear.

“Wow,” she whispered back and returned to her spot on his chest.

“I think I could be good at it,” he was shy now.

“Of course you will be, you’ve excelled at everything you’ve ever tried. Wow, only you could find a job more dangerous than fighter pilot,” she huffed a laugh, but her stomach clenched.

“It’s mostly research,” he shrugged.

“Don’t lie to me to make me feel better,” she pinched his bare hip.

“I know this is a lot to take in, especially in your orgasm-induced haze,” he smirked, and she wanted to scowl back but only nodded her agreement.

“I want you to be happy, Logan, I want you to do what you love. You have encouraged me at every turn since I’ve been back in Neptune.”

“I love flying, and I will continue to fly, just not jets any more. This is an opportunity I cannot pass up. If you don’t want this life though, we need to have that conversation sooner rather than later.”

“I’m in Logan, if it is part of your life, it is part of my life too. You are part of my life and I want you, all of you.”

“OK, then let me tell you about the Orion Protocol…”

***Present Day***

“OK,” Veronica nodded, she remembered everything she and Logan had discussed years ago, about what would happen if he had to go dark.

“You are his point person, you were even before that,” Clarence pointed at her ring, “you know the protocols?”

“Yes.”

“Is there anything in this apartment or on your person that would compromise the protocols?”

“No,” she replied, they never wrote anything down or if they did it was burned immediately, everything Logan taught her was in her brain.

“I will say, most of the time when something like this happens, I worry about the civilian involved, but I trust you Veronica. I know you and how smart you are. Although honestly, I expected you to figure out the limerick and dispose of the bomb before we could make this work.”

“How did you know?” 

“About the bomb? We had a source at the police station, when the bombings started, we began putting the plan in place. Logan was not read in until just now, but this has been in the works for a while.”

“Was anyone hurt?” she wondered how far the Navy would actually go.

“We had a body. There won’t be an autopsy. We cleared the rest of the street, no innocent lives lost,” he assured her.

Clarence was always good at delivering information concisely.

“This place is about to be crawling with first responders,” Clarence indicated their time together was short and the smell of the fire, her former car, finally got her attention.

“OK, go. I got this,” Veronica promised.

“He told me to tell you to use the money for Keith,” Clarence smiled, an actual tender smile and turned to leave.

When the tall man was gone, Veronica sank to her knees, stinging from the glass and wrapped her arms around Pony. She wept, uncontrollably, in fear and relief simultaneously. The dog whimpered and seemed to snuggle into her embrace. The moment was destroyed by the loud wail of sirens. Veronica stood, her eyes already playing the part and stumbled out of the apartment and down the stairs.

“My husband,” she wailed as a police officer approached, “my husband was in the car.

Veronica packed a bag for herself and one for Pony and Keith came to collect them both after she talked to the police and had her minor injuries treated by paramedics on the scene. They wanted to admit her for observation, shock they said, but she assured them she would be fine with her dad.

“I have to tell people, before it’s on the news,” Veronica startled alert in the car.

“I can do that,” Keith assured.

“Can you tell Wallace? I need to tell Dick. After his dad, Jesus, I feel bad for Dick,” Veronica wiped at the tears on her face, annoyed with her own emotions. “I’ll call his Aunt Naomi too,” Veronica realized Logan really didn’t have many people, “and Jane. Maybe the guy at the juice place,” she smiled sadly.

“Huh?” Keith was worried.

“Those are the people he told about the wedding,” Veronica looked at her ring.

When they got to Keith’s, Pony trotted ahead and went in and out of every room, sniffed around Veronica and then went to the door.

“He’s not here, buddy,” Veronica said sadly, “he’s not fucking here,” and then the tears came in earnest. She was exhausted and terrified and frustrated by the incredulity of it all. They just got married, and this is how they are starting their marriage. She tried to chide herself, he could be dead.

And it would’ve been her fault. Why the hell had she not worked harder to figure out that limerick? She had written Penn off as an idiot and didn’t give him the credit he deserved. 

“This is my fault,” she finally said.

“If it’s yours, it is also mine,” Keith said, “don’t think I haven’t thought that since you called.”

“I need to call Dick,” she took her phone in to the guest room.

“Yo, Ronnie. If you need to call me on your honeymoon, he isn’t doing it right,” Dick answered, his words slurred.

“Dick, I need to tell you something.”

“You chickened out, right? And now Logan is a mopey mess and you need me to save him?”

“Dick, focus. I know you are going through a lot. I’m sorry. I’m sorry about your dad, but you have to listen to me. There was another bomb,” she choked on the word, “another bomb in Neptune. It was in my car. Logan…Logan is dead,” it was the first time she said the words like that, she said her husband to the officers earlier, this was the first time she used his name.

“What?” was all Dick could muster.

“I’m so sorry, I know how much he meant to you.”

“Are you OK?” Dick sounded suddenly sober.

“No,” she said honestly.

“Are you at Keith’s?”

“Yeah, the funeral will be at the base, I think, I’ll text you the info.”

“I’ll be there,” and with that he was gone.

Dick Casablancas was not someone Veronica usually felt anything for, but he had lost his brother, his father and now thought he lost his best friend. It was a lot to manage.

“Wallace is bringing some food,” Keith said as Veronica returned to the living room.

“K,” she just nodded, feeling hollow.

“Can I get you a cup of tea or something,” Keith was struggling, he had watched his daughter suffer too many traumas in her short life, but this was something he did not think she would recover from. He watched as Veronica folded her tiny frame in the corner of his couch, the giant dog Logan had helped her pick out was trying to get in her lap.

“No thanks, Dad,” she smiled sadly.

“Honey, I am so sorry,” Keith approached the couch and tried to get close enough to give her a hug, but the dog refused to budge.

“I know,” she sighed.

“I wasn’t always Logan’s biggest fan,” he said, and she choked out half a laugh and half a sob, “but he worked so hard to turn his life around, to make something of his awful situation…”

“Aaron beat him,” Veronica said coldly.

Keith’s face twisted in pain or regret. Had her father suspected something when they were kids and did nothing? How many people had let Logan down, herself included? 

“You both went through too much when you were way too young to handle it,” Keith wiped a hand over his face, his eyes wet.

“And Logan managed to get his shit together and I teased him about it, I made fun of him for getting help. I tried to make him feel bad, when really, I was just jealous. I couldn’t understand how he was able to get past it all, to process it. I told him he was Logan minus the Logan the other day,” tears slid down her face, she may not be mourning her husband’s death, but she was no less emotional, no less upset for all the hoops she made Logan jump through. She should have married him years ago, when he committed to Pony, when Bilbo died and she had nightmares of losing him, when she thought she was pregnant last year.

“He loved you so much Veronica, warts and all that boy loved you.”

“I know,” she nodded and wiped at her tears more furiously.

The doorbell rang.

“Wallace must have Mama Leone’s on speed dial,” Veronica rose, and the dog moved to let her up, turning his head to Keith with the saddest eyes.

“I know, Pony,” Keith patted him.

The next morning a Naval officer knocked on the door, expressed his sincere condolences on her loss and presented her with a folder of documents. She knew this would happen, it was part of the protocol, but was shocked to find that even in the eyes of the Navy, Logan was dead.

Keith looked through everything with her, the Navy had arranged the funeral and she was to begin receiving death benefits immediately. For a short terrifying moment, she thought she had dreamt the conversation with Clarence, was Logan dead and she had just lost touch with reality? She knew though, that Logan’s status would only be known to a very small team within the Navy, this was just standard operating procedure.

Veronica also received a delivery from Logan’s lawyer, he too thought the man was dead, so his will was executed and the balance of his trust was transferred to Veronica. She knew that was not the sum total of Logan’s worth, he had accounts all over the world ready to go for this life he led. He joked about being poor now and he did exist on just his salary, but his trust had come in handy a couple times on the job.

“You OK?” Keith hobbled to the table and placed a warm hand on her arm. Veronica hadn’t realized she was shaking until she felt his touch.

“It’s a lot,” she turned to her father, it wasn’t a lie, all of this was a lot to process.

“One day at a time, OK,” his own eyes were sad, and Veronica loved how much he had grown to love Logan.

“I seem to have come into some money,” she chuffed a humorless laugh, “when the funeral is over and everything, let’s get that hip fixed. We can afford to cut back on work a bit and get you back to full Keith Mars power.”

“Don’t worry about that now,” Keith shook his head, his discomfort with Logan’s money obvious.

“He’d want this, Dad, you know he would,” Logan had very delicately broached the subject more than once.

“We’ll see. I am a lot more worried about you right now.”

“I’m OK,” she promised.

And she was. She had taken a run earlier, thank god Logan had set that precedent for her health, and stopped at the public library to check the sites Logan had told her to check during the Orion protocol.

***2 Years Ago***

“If I have to go dark, I will communicate through 10 different pet adoption sites, these are the URLs, memorize them and destroy the paper,” he handed her a sheet of paper with the websites written in his precise handwriting.

Veronica read them over 3 times and handed the sheet back.

“Got them,” she nodded.

“My username will be PonyBoy913 – capital P and a capital B all one word. My CO’s username will be RedSoxCat1918,” Logan wrote it down and then tore it up.

“Boston fella?” Veronica smirked.

“Yep, been insufferable lately,” Logan smirked back, but the smile faded, and concern marred his gorgeous face, “you really OK with this? It’s a lot.”

“I should have known better than to take you on a stake out in high school, you always were too curious,” she reached out and laced her fingers through his.

“If everything is fine, my message will say I recently adopted a yellow lab from Sunnyside farms and just love her to pieces. If I need you to reach out to Clarence, it will be a black lab and the transition has been difficult.”

“OK, how often should I check?”

“As often as possible. Use public computers, never your own. The public library and erase your search history. If I am going to be out of touch for a while or if I need you to do anything I will send a code.”

“A code?”

“What do you know about book ciphers?” Logan reached into a bag and produced 2 copies of To Kill a Mockingbird.

“A little, from movies,” she shrugged and flipped through the well-worn copy of one of her favorite books.

“This will be our key. If I send you any message other than the standard ones about the lab, use the alphanumeric touchpad indicators for a phone, an a b or c equals 2 you know?? He asked and she nodded. “If the word is 10 letters it will be a phone number, otherwise add the numbers up and that is a page from the book, use the first word on that page to decode the message. Does that make sense?”

“Yeah,” she looked slightly dazed.

“If it is a phone number there will be a series of codewords,” he handed her a sheet of paper with the 12 months of the year and 12 code words.

“Can I have some time with these?”

“Yes, but you have to memorize them by the end of the weekend.”

“OK,” she nodded.

“The book has to be a book we would have at home, if anyone looked. A lot of guys use the Bible, but I figured that would stand out like a sore thumb around here,” he winked.

“Lilly would love this,” Veronica laughed.

“Right? She had that spy pen,” Logan chuckled.

“I do have a question,” she looked at him seriously.

“Of course,” he leaned in.

“Am I the yellow lab in the codes?”

“I do love you to pieces,” he leaned closer and kissed her, gently at first, but with increasing intent as Veronica leaned closer to his body.

“I hope we never need to invoke Orion, but if we do, know that I will be as safe as I can possibly be. I will always come back for you,” he kissed her again and she crawled into his lap, throwing a leg over to straddle him fully.

“I knew something the day we met. I knew there was something about you Logan, something that would never be boring.”

“Life with you is pretty damn exciting, Veronica,” he slid both his hands up under the back of her tee shirt.

She returned to kissing him but yelped a little when he stood up with her in his arms, no warning and seemingly no effort he carried her back to the bedroom and tossed her on the bed with a grin.

“You seem pretty excited right now, Lieutenant,” she eyed his sweatpants and inadvertently licked her lips.

“Smart is really fucking sexy and you are the smartest girl I have ever known,” he crawled over her and lowered his hips to hers as she leaned up to find his lips.

“Flattery will get you everywhere,” she reached under the elastic waistband and squeezed his ass.

“In that case, you are also the prettiest,” he thrust against her again and was rewarded with a low moan.

“No more pants,” she instructed, and he reached for hers as she reached for his and their arms tangled.

Veronica cackled out a loud laugh and suddenly Pony came trotting into the room to investigate.

“Pony, out,” Logan said sternly and pointed, the dog looked at Veronica assessed she was not actually in trouble and retreated.

Veronica shimmied up the bed and out of her pants, reaching for Logan as she moved. He tugged the blankets down and rolled them in to the cocoon of their bed as he pealed the last of their clothes off and teased his fingers along her side, edging her breasts and tickling her hip.

“Now, please,” she curled a leg around his hip to pull him on top of her, to join their bodies.

“Yeah,” was all he said as he slid into her warm body, his forehead dropping to her chest, his lips soft against the skin there.

“So good,” she whispered against the top of his head, his hair softer than it looked this short.

Logan set an achingly slow pace, sliding all the way out of her before rocking back in. The angle provided incredible friction for Veronica and her chest blushed pink as her body arched in search of release.

“Like that?” Logan asked as he flicked his tongue against a nipple.

“Mmmmmm, yessss,” she hissed as he suckled a little harder.

Veronica shifted her hips and Logan was able to sink a little deeper and they both moaned.

“I didn’t think it was possible, but you have managed to ratchet up the hotness,” Veronica murmured against his temple as she nuzzled him.

“The spy thing is a turn on?” he asked with a glint in his eye.

She just nodded and wrapped her legs around him tightly.

***Present Day***

Logan had already managed to post the yellow lab post on one of the sites, so Veronica felt relieved to know wherever he was, he seemed to be OK for the time being. She moved in with her dad, the apartment still a mess from the bomb and the idea of being there without Logan less appealing than a pull-out couch at her dad’s.

She had lived through a lot of Logan’s deployments over the past 5 years, but this was different, and she and Pony were perfectly comfortable with Keith. She had even made some headway with him on the hip replacement and they had a consultation scheduled.

Veronica was looking over some case notes alone at the office when she heard someone clear their throat and she looked up to see Nicole in her doorway.

“Hi,” Veronica said cautiously.

“Hi,” Nicole nodded back but made no move to approach.

“Did you need something?” Veronica was not sure where she stood with Nicole, their last face-to-face was pretty negative.

“I heard the news. I’m sorry, I only met him those couple of times, but it was obvious how much you loved him,” Nicole shuffled into Veronica’s office and flopped in the chair.

“I did. I do,” Veronica corrected, her love for Logan would never ever be in the past tense.

“And he was so hot. No one that hot should be dead,” Nicole said sincerely.

Veronica just smiled and shook her head; she liked this woman.

“I might have been a little hard on you, you were just doing your job,” Nicole waved her hand in the air.

“My job is often a little deceitful,” Veronica admitted.

“Well, water under the bridge, you know,” Nicole stood again, their reunion apparently over.  
“If you need a drink or someone to talk to, I’m not really good with tears, but if you want to discuss how hot your boyfriend was…”

“Husband,” Veronica held up her hand.

“No shit. You finally said yes?”

Veronica just nodded.

“Well, fuck me, this sucks even more. At least he knew, you know, how you felt,” Nicole frowned.

“He always knew,” Veronica smiled.

Months went by. Keith had his hip replaced and Veronica was a dutiful daughter, cooking and cleaning and keeping things afloat at the office. Matty had been helpful at keeping things organized at both work and home as she also worked to reopen the Sea Sprite.

Veronica visited the public library in 3 neighboring towns to keep from setting a pattern. Sometimes she went in the morning under the guise of jogging and sometimes when she ran out to get lunch, other times she went in the evening on the rare nights the library was open late and got ice cream on the way home.

She saw a couple messages from Logan, all golden labs and Sunnyside farms, so either he was fine, or this was all some sort of huge government conspiracy. She got one coded message that said, “How’s my dog” and one that said “Miss your face” or at least that was what she had sorted out from the book cipher.

It was 3 months, 2 weeks and 5 days after the bomb went off that she saw a message that was “Call this” and a ten-letter word. It was a phone number. She had an unused burner in her car and she practically sprinted to the car to call, her hands shaking as she tried to remember what month it was and what the codeword was for the month as she dialed.

A man answered; it was not Clarence.

“Codeword?” he said shortly.

“Iguana,” Veronica said.

“Good morning, Mrs. Echolls.”

Veronica gasped, no one had called her that.

“Is he OK?”

“I do not have that information. I am to tell you to go to the bus terminal in Santa Monica as soon as possible.”

“What do I do there>” Veronica could not remember anything about a bus terminal in the protocol.

“Locker 63,” and with that the line went dead.

She cracked the burner phone in half and stayed in the car. Santa Monica is a bit of a drive. Pulling her own phone out of her bag she called her dad.

“Hey sweetheart, decide running is a horrible hobby and need an Uber back?” Keith answered with a grin.

“Funny old man, now that you have a bionic hip, I suppose you think you could take me in a race?” Veronica grinned, these past few months had been good for her and Keith, their relationship was strained since she returned to Neptune, but this shared sense of caring for one another had brought them closer, which made it hard for her to lie to him.

“I need to do some research on a case. Any chance you can order lunch in?” Keith had just been cleared to drive and she worried. “I’ll be back later this afternoon.”

“Sure, need anything from here?”

“Nope, I got it covered,” she said, hoping she did.

Veronica drove to Santa Monica, arrived around lunch and pulled into a parking place several blocks from the bus station. She found a beachfront restaurant and had lunch, paying cash so there was no trail, but looking like any other tourist taking pictures of the Ferris wheel and the wide blue Pacific.

After lunch she used the ladies’ room where she pulled her hair back and put on a baseball cap and sunglasses before walking to the bus station. She found the locker easily and saw there was a digital keypad, 4 digits like a hotel safe. She entered her birth month and date, the light stayed red. Same for Logan’s birthday, their wedding date and the date they kissed at the Camelot. She stopped and thought about the protocol and what it was predicated on and entered the month and date they adopted Pony. The light flashed green and she opened the locker.

There was a small leather zippered pouch, she slipped it into her purse and moved out of the bus station into the sun, her cap shielding the smile on her face. When she got in her car she drove for about an hour before finding a rest stop off the highway, nearly deserted in the mid afternoon and opened the pouch.

In it was a new passport with her photo and the name Leslie McMann, there were credit cards in the same name and $2,000 cash. Finally, she pulled out a plane ticket from Phoenix, AZ to New York City with a connection on to Bermuda.

Veronica knew what she was supposed to do, she didn’t have a ton of time, the flight was in 2 days.

When she walked into Mars Investigations around 4:30, her dad and Matty were chatting about the Padres.

“Oh no, you like baseball? You are now stuck listening to his Padres stories forever,” Veronica grinned and greeted Pony who looked up from the couch.

“How’d your research go?” Keith asked.

“Good, I think I have a lead on a bail jumper down in Phoenix, it’s a decent reward. Thought I might take a few days and drive down, you be OK without me around here?” Veronica was slightly guilty about lying and leaving her dad.

“Of course, I can even walk Pony now,” Keith swiveled his new hip.

“Thanks, I could use a… I need to get out of town,” Veronica admitted and realized that wasn’t a lie.

“How long you think?”

“Five days, maybe a week,” she shrugged.

“For a bail jumper?”

“And a nice long drive, maybe I’ll see Sedona,” she smiled wistfully.

“Take as long as you need sweetheart,” Keith wrapped an arm around her shoulder. “You’ve been so strong these past few months. Take care of yourself.”

Veronica packed for Bermuda and packed another bag of work stuff, throwing both suitcases in the trunk and went to bed early for an early morning departure. 

The 7-hour drive passed quickly and soon she was pulling into a Camelot-esque hotel. She looked a little world weary from her drive, so when she rolled her suitcase in to the office with a big bottle of Jack Daniels in one hand, the young guy behind the counter looked a little nervous.

“Hey, can I get a room for 8 nights? Parking lot side if you got it.”

“Sure,” the kid nodded and clacked away at the computer. “You get a free night for every 5, so you only have to pay for 7,” he said enthusiastically.

“Great,” Veronica was less enthusiastic.

“It’s $478.62 you can pay it all now or one night with a card on hold.”

“You can run the whole thing,” Veronica handed over her card and her license.

“Cool name,” the kid grinned.

“Thanks,” Veronica grinned back. She peeled two fifty dollar bills off the roll in her purse.

“Could I convince you to keep housekeeping out of my hair, I just want to sleep and drink for a few days,” she slid the money over.

“Yeah, hey, we don’t judge. Do what you want just don’t bother nobody,” he pocketed the cash. “I put a note on your room for no housekeeping, call down if you need towels or anything.”

“Thanks, dude,” Veronica smirked and took the key for room 106.

Veronica noted the sign that said the desk was only staffed until 11:00 pm and she planned her next step. She got to her room and unpacked the few things in her suitcase, some work clothes and a folder on a fake bail jumper, some toiletries.

She walked down to the vending machine and grabbed a soda and some Doritos and flipped through the cable channels waiting for 11:00 pm to roll around. Veronica was happy to see a safe in the motel room, so she locked up her actual credit cards and ID, transferring the fake ones to her wallet. When the office was dark and the parking lot quiet, Veronica took the other suitcase from the trunk and walked across the street to a Denny’s. She had dinner, paid with cash, and called a cab with a burner phone.

She had the cab drive her to a Courtyard Marriott near the airport where she got a room and paid with cash. She slept fitfully unsure of what was really going on. Was Logan in Bermuda? If so, why? Was he just sending her on a vacation? There were no instructions and she used the computer in the hotel business center to check the sites, nothing new.

She had to kill the whole day in the hotel. She got a late check out for 3:00 pm and then had dinner at the bar, paid with cash. Finally, around 7:00 pm she got a cab to the airport. She checked in at the Delta kiosk with the fake Leslie McMann Passport and got her boarding pass for first class, this was definitely a Logan thing and not a Navy thing.

She found a quiet corner and read a book she bought in the Hudson News and waited for the red eye to board. She slept a little on the plane but mostly played Fishdom on her phone, those damned fish were so cute.

She only had a 2-hour layover at JFK, so she grabbed some breakfast and waited for the next leg. It was a short 90 minutes from New York to Bermuda, how had she not known that when she lived here? Not that she could’ve afforded the time or money to vacation when she was at Columbia.

Bermuda’s airport was tiny and as she walked down the stairs from the plane on to the tarmac, she inhaled the warm humid air and felt the sun on her skin, she really did need this trip. She made it through customs and immigration with no issue as Leslie and collected her suitcase from the carousel.

As she stepped outside the terminal, unsure what her next step was supposed to be, she saw a man with Leslie McMann written on a whiteboard. She waved.

“Welcome to Bermuda, Ms. McMann,” he said and took her suitcase to the trunk.

“Thank you,” she smiled and slipped into the air-conditioned SUV.

The driver made small talk and told her about the gorgeous island as they moved along narrow windy roads that dropped off towards the most beautiful ocean she had ever seen. In about 30 minutes he turned on to a small bumpy lane that ended in a small pink cottage with the traditional white roof she had noticed on all the houses they passed.

“For you,” the driver handed over an envelope that held a key.

“Thank you. Do I need to pay you?” Veronica had noticed there was no meter.

“It is all taken care of, enjoy your stay in Bermuda,” the driver took her suitcase from the trunk and shook her hand.

“Thank you,” she said again and walked up the gravel path to the front door.

Veronica slipped the key out of the envelope and put it in the lock, turning the doorknob it opened to a bright airy living room with a soft pink sofa and a TV. Beyond the living room was a kitchen with an open window and seating between the two rooms.

“Hello,” she said frighteningly quiet, unsure if she wanted someone to answer or not.

There was a small bathroom and another room beyond that which was probably the bedroom, but her eyes were drawn to the view out the back window over the kitchen sink. That same gorgeous turquoise water. There were huge rocks in the water that broke the waves, so the water out back looked as still as a swimming pool, she noticed a hammock in the water and a cliff with birds flitting to and fro visible at the edge of a small pink sand beach. Then as if materializing right before her eyes she saw him.

Logan was standing on a paddle board in board shorts and no shirt, his back to her, but she knew it was him as sure as she knew anything. He navigated the board easily and soon he turned back to the house. She could tell the moment he saw her, his posture changed, his face brightened.

He paddled into the shallows and hopped off the board gracefully, pulling it up to the sand and dropping the paddle. He walked up the beach to the back door she just noticed off the kitchen. They both reached it at the same time and with the same smile on their faces whispered, “You’re here.”

TBC…


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A honeymoon of sorts....

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you to everyone who reached out here and on Discord with notes. I hope people enjoy this little AU and can still embrace some of the things we love about LoVe.

“You’re here,” they whispered in unison, Logan with sandy feet on the stone stairs leading up from the beach, Veronica still in the kitchen, a threshold between them.

She lunged for him, wrapping her arms tight around his broad shoulders. He took her weight and steadied himself on the narrow step to prevent tumbling down to the beach and held her tightly. Both their hearts raced against each other, her breath was short and choppy, his shallow and slow as he breathed in the scent of her. The long journey had wiped away any soap or lotion smell, leaving just Veronica.

Finally, Logan managed to navigate the narrow stairs back down to the sand and walked them, as one, over to a cushioned chaise under an umbrella. He sat and she wrapped her legs around him, to match her arms, still not saying anything, just taking him in.

He buried his nose in her hair, his fingers bunching in the soft cotton of her tee shirt. She could feel the granules of sand and flecks of salt on his skin and without warning took a swipe at his neck with her tongue.

“Hello, Bobcat,” he grinned against her cheek.

“Hi,” she leaned back now, a wide smile on her face.

“Welcome to Bermuda,” he pointed out at the picturesque landscape, but her eyes never left his face.

“It’s beautiful,” she said honestly, and he blushed under her scrutiny.

“How was your trip?” he ran his hands up and down her back, wanting to keep as much contact as possible.

“Very nice, thank you for the upgrade.”

“I figured first class was the least I owed you after these past few months. If it wouldn’t have raised red flags, I would have hired a charter,” he winced a bit.

“Hey, no. You are not feeling guilty about this. I knew this was a possibility and I am fine. I am glad to see you though, to know it was you on the end of those messages and this wasn’t some hoax.”

“Not a hoax and I have some news, my mission is going well, very well. This could go on a while, but they promised me that every few months I could take a week, disappear. It helps my cover if I drop off the radar for a bit. So, we can see each other.”

“The government is sponsoring booty calls?” she narrowed her eyes.

“No, the government is sponsoring my R&R. I am sponsoring our booty calls,” he wrinkled his nose at the term.

“I figured Uncle Sam didn’t fly me first class. Do they know I’m here? Or was that all Clarence?” she looked around as if there might be spies amongst them.

“They know you are here; everything is above board and we are very much alone. This is one of the most private spots on this little island.”

“It really is gorgeous. Why did you pick it?”

“It’s winter where I’ve been,” he said vaguely.

It was late July, so Veronica knew that meant Southern Hemisphere. She just nodded.

“Are you OK?” she tried to inventory the parts of his body she could see, no visible injuries.

“Completely fine, I promise. I will let you perform a thorough investigation soon. I would like though, if you would indulge me, to kiss my wife now,” he arched an eyebrow.

“Not if she kisses you first,” Veronica teased as she leaned in and touched her lips to his, so softly it felt like a dream.

“I love you, Veronica,” he murmured into the kiss and she pulled him tighter, closer, lost in the feel of his lips again, his tongue.

Logan maneuvered them so he was laying back in the chaise with Veronica settled in his lap, this kiss slow and languid. Then Veronica pulled back, looked down at him and he saw her tears, felt them fall on to his own cheeks.

“Hey, what’s wrong?” he swiped at her tears with his thumb, tenderly stroked her flushed cheek.

“I’m so sorry,” she said quietly unable to look him in the eye.

“For what? Hey, come here,” he tried to pull her close and hold her and she struggle to keep a little distance.

“No, wait. I want nothing more than to lose myself in your eyes and your lips and your body, but I have had over 3 months to think and I need to say something,” she took a deep breath and smiled sadly.

Logan was instantly on alert, he figured this would be coming. How long could he expect her to sit around worried about him and having to lie to her father and Wallace and everyone. She wanted out, his stomach clenched, but he did as he was told and waited for her to talk.

“I was such a bitch to you when you proposed. I was thrown for a loop. I was shocked by the sudden shift in our status quo and what that meant. How it meant that you were evolving and growing, and I was stuck. I knew that, I could see it, but because I spend a lot of time away from you, I could chalk it up to an emotional disconnect. I didn’t see everything you went through to become this new you and so I could pretend it was my imagination and you were still as fucked up as I am.”

Logan tried really hard not to let his jaw drop. Of all the things he expected Veronica to say, this was not even in the top 50.

“I really ratcheted up my snark when you proposed, and I said and did some things that were really unforgiveable. I have been reliving them these past few months, in retrospect, and I can’t for the life of me figure out why you didn’t tell me to get lost,” she hooked her thumb over her shoulder.

“I love you Veronica. And if I didn’t know that you hide behind your snark, I would have bailed a long time ago,” Logan said tenderly, one hand cupping her hip and the other stroking her thigh.

“I knew proposing was going to shake things up and I was ready for it. I did not know it was going to coincide with a serial bomber, your dad’s health issues and me getting called away twice. I thought you would freak, we would have a lot of sex, you would tell me why you were freaking, and we’d get closer. I missed the mark on that,” he chuckled, and she grinned at him.

“I should have made you the priority,” she said honestly. “I took for granted that you would just take my bullshit and love me any way.”

“I did. I will. Always,” he took one of her hands in his and kissed her knuckles.

“You shouldn’t have to. You should get nothing from me but respect and adoration. And lust, but that didn’t really abate like ever,” she rolled her eyes.

“We never had a problem with lust,” he nodded with a leer.

“I am truly sorry for making you feel less than the Logan I fell in love with all those years ago. You have to know that you are so much more to me,” she brought her hands to the side of his head again, like she did when she teased him about getting his head shrunk, “you are everything to me.”

She kissed him then and let him pull her against his chest. It wasn’t long before the kissing was insufficient and she asked in halting words between gasping breaths.

“how…private…is this …place?”

“Very,” he returned the rushed sentiment as he reached for the waist of her pants and his swimsuit.

As she joined their bodies together for the first time since the morning of their wedding, Veronica let out a deep breath, as if she had been holding it all these months.

“Oh god,” she groaned as Logan worked her tee shirt off and tugged her bra straps down instead of figuring out the closure.

“Please,” he said in a strangled voice, encouraging her to move.

Her pace was erratic, she wanted it to last forever and she wanted to come immediately. The end result was explosive and left them both panting.

“Feeling better?” he asked as he kissed her temple and stroked her sweat-slicked back.

She just nodded against him. He stood and she wrapped herself around him, their clothes were scattered in the sand around the chaise, and he carried her to the outdoor shower by the backdoor. He turned the cool water on and walked them under the rainfall shower head.

“Gah!” she looked at him with shock.

“Sorry, seemed most efficient,” he grinned as she lowered her bare feet to the tile floor.

They rinsed off and Logan patted himself dry quickly with the one towel he had put out earlier, before wrapping her in it and kissing her forehead.

“Hungry? Tired?” he asked realizing she had been travelling all night.

“Both,” she admitted, “When did you get here?”

“Two nights ago, late. I spent yesterday getting the house ready, had some food brought in and caught up on some sleep. I made a chicken salad you might like; it has mango in it,” he kissed her.

“I love mango.”

“I know you do,” he winked and led her into the little pink house.

“I’m just gonna,” she pointed towards the bathroom and wheeled her suitcase behind her. When she emerged a few minutes later in a lightweight sundress she found Logan in a different pair of board shorts.

He had already gone about the kitchen grabbing food and plates, silverware and glasses. He pulled a big pitcher of something that looked like orange lemonade out of the fridge and Veronica’s mouth watered as she realized how thirsty she was.

“Can I have some of that?” she pointed at the pitcher.

“Yeah,” he looked at her with concern on his face, “you OK?”

“Just tired and thirsty and hungry and anxious,” she listed.

“The first 3 I can take care of really quick, but what are you anxious about?” he handed her a cool glass and cupped her upper arm with a tender squeeze.

“How long are we here? Can you stay the whole time? I know I have a week until my flight back, do we really get a week together?”

“Yes,” he nodded.

“And no scary phone calls?”

“I am off the grid,” he promised.

“Ok,” she let out a breath and took a long slow swallow of the drink he handed her. “Oh my god!”

“Good?”

“So good, what is this elixir of the gods?”

“Passionfruit lemonade. I’ve become a big fan of the passionfruit.”

“Of course you would like a fruit with passion in the title,” she smirked.

“Let’s sit down and eat,” he tilted his head towards the small table on the stone patio.

It was a tiny metal table, like a bistro table and the result was that the 2 of them were sitting very close, Veronica’s bare legs rubbed against his, and she ate ravenously.

“So good,” she mumbled between bites, “even the kale,” she said with disbelief.

“I knew I couldn’t sneak that past you,” he chuckled.

“I must be really hungry,” she raised her eyebrows.

Veronica drained her glass of lemonade and Logan refilled it.

“How have you been, Veronica?” the questions sounded impersonal and innocuous, but she knew better.

“I’m staying with my dad, so I am pretty low key.”

“You were going pretty hard there for a bit,” he looked concerned.

“I know. I kind of lost my mind for a few weeks. I had a lot on my plate, and I didn’t handle it well, I know that. I meant what I said earlier, I am sorry, about all of it. The past few months have been very mellow. Dad had his hip replaced….”

“Awesome, how is he?”

“Really good,” Veronica nodded with a smile.

“I hate putting him through this, worrying about you…”

“It’s not just me, Logan, he is genuinely sad. He hides behind jokes, but he loves you Logan, he has mourned your death.”

“I have so few people, it is what makes me a good candidate for this kind of assignment,” he ran a hand through his hair.

“You are a good candidate for this assignment because you are a kick ass officer,” she corrected, and he smirked.

“I just mean, it’s not like I am surrounded by people. It’s just your dad, Wallace, Dick…I probably shouldn’t tell Dick anything.”

“We can’t tell anyone; I won’t risk anything. For the briefest moment I thought you were dead, and it was the worst moment of my life, I will not live through that for real, even if it means my Dad and Wallace and Dick have to suffer a little.”

“Well, it makes me feel bad.”

“You are making the world a safer place; they’ll get over it. You will get to come home at some point, right?”

“Yeah,” he smiled, but didn’t give any more details.

When the food was gone, Veronica took Logan up on the offer of a nap.

“You too?” she looked at him when it appeared he was planning to leave her alone.

“Yeah, yeah,” he said quietly and pulled her in to his arms.

He kissed her slowly and slipped her sundress off, it was all she had on, and he moaned when he found all that bare skin.

“Bed, please?” she said between kisses as she tugged at his shorts again.

This time was sweet and slow, lots of kisses and gentle fingers, but the same satisfying conclusion.

“I love you,” he said as Veronica settled against his chest in her favorite spot.

“I love you too,” she kissed the spot where she felt his heart beating most noticeably.

“Sleep,” he stroked her hair and felt her fall away into a peaceful sleep.

Logan dozed on and off and saw the sun move across the sky through the window. He was just thinking about slipping out from under her when he felt her hold him tighter.

“No escape, stay with me,” she mumbled, and he smiled against the top of her head.

“OK,” he promised.

Veronica was awake now though, so she wiggled against him and soon enough he was rolling her under him and kissing every inch of her skin.

“Is this our honeymoon?” she asked as she caught her breath as Logan continued kissing and licking along her body.

“I guess it is,” he smiled against her ribcage.

When Veronica woke next it was dark and a storm had rolled in from the ocean. The thunder was distant and deep and the lightening blinding and blue. Logan slumbered next to her, the flashes illuminating his beautiful face, bathing him in shadow and highlighting his thick lashes, his chiseled cheek bones.

Veronica sat up, letting the sheet pool at her waist. The air in the room was humid and warm, but a breeze was kicking up with the storm.

Logan reached for her, his hand finding her hip although he seemed to still be sleeping. He looked tired and Veronica wondered what he had been through since the explosion.

***Day of the Explosion***

Logan jogged down the stairs to the street with a grin on his face. He was actually fucking married to Veronica Mars, like for real, legally and everything. He couldn’t stop smiling.

Veronica called down, something about time zones and Fiji. He looked up at her in the window in her simple white dress. They could wait a little bit to leave for Sedona, a shower with his wife sounded like a great idea.

His smile disappeared when he saw Clarence lurking a half block away. He jogged down to the man.

“No,” Logan said.

“You don’t get to say no, Lieutenant.” 

“It’s my wedding day,” Logan held up his hand and Clarence smiled.

“Then you are really going to want to come with me,” Clarence pulled him behind a dumpster as Veronica’s car exploded.

“Holy shit,” Logan shook, “Veronica!” he moved to run back to the house.

“She’s fine, the trajectory of the bomb won’t do much damage.”

“What’s going on?” Logan ran a hand through his hair.

“Epner left your wife a present and we are using it to disappear you, long term on the Cassian Project,” Clarence was pulling out a clean cell and an airlocked computer.

“Fuck,” Logan hung his head, felling sorry for himself and Veronica for a minute. “You have to tell her. I want to invoke Orion.”

Clarence nodded.

“I figured as much. Take the Accord around the corner and go to the rendezvous point. I’ll talk to Veronica.”

“Thanks, tell her to use the money for her dad,” Logan shook the tall man’s hand and jogged off before anyone could react to the explosion.

He drove a few miles over the speed limit, enough to seem normal, but not enough to be pulled over. It took him 5 hours to get to the airfield in the desert, a plane waiting to fly him to Indonesia. His CO was on board with the team to brief him. He had started laying the groundwork for this mission earlier this week, but he had no idea it would escalate so quickly.

He had sold some weapons to a drug lord with ties to a terrorist training facility and the guy liked Logan apparently, had been chatting about him on some recruitment sites.

“Play hard to get, string this guy along, see who he introduces you to,” his CO said over dinner on the plane.

Logan nodded.

“I can play the tease,” Logan grinned.

“Hey, I know this is not ideal and I am sorry,” his CO said in a moment of candor.

“It’s the job I signed up for, Sir.”

“Your wife might not agree,” the older man smiled and raised his glass of scotch in a toast, “congratulations.”

“Thanks,” Logan tapped his glass, “Veronica will be OK.”

“We’ll find a way for you two to see each other.”

“Well, if I am playing hard to get with Gutierrez, dropping off the grid from time to time would be on brand,” Logan suggested.

“We’ll make it happen.”

***Bermuda***

“Are you watching me sleep? Logan asked, his eyes still closed.

“I’m watching the storm over the water,” Veronica lied.

Logan looked back over his shoulder and saw a streak of lightning near the rocks he was paddling around earlier. He rolled on his back and pulled Veronica over him to the other side spooning in behind her so they could both look out at the storm.

“Our nap seems to have segued right into nighttime,” Veronica said as she leaned down and kissed the inside of his elbow.

“You hungry?” Logan asked.

“I just want you to hold me,” she settled back in his arms.

“I can do that,” he promised.

When Veronica next woke up, she was alone and for the hundredth time since the bombing she feared she had been dreaming, that Logan was dead. As she looked around the bright bedroom, she realized she was not in Neptune, she was in Bermuda and Logan had to be somewhere.

She stood up and stretched, naked, she slipped a tee shirt on and padded to the bathroom before searching for her husband. It didn’t take long to find him doing crunches in the living room. She stood in the archway and ogled for a bit.

“I am feeling slightly objectified,” Logan teased, but didn’t stop, a sheen of sweat on his tanned bare back.

“I’m just glad to know that body requires some work,” she said casually.

“I have a lot of long lonely nights these days,” he said vaguely.

“No cover girlfriend to keep you entertained,” her voice was teasing but he looked back at her with an arched eyebrow.

“I don’t know what your job requires of you,” she shrugged and headed for the coffee she smelled.

“There is no cover girlfriend, no cover wife, no cover partner of any kind. Just me and a bunch of scary dudes,” he hopped off the floor and followed her.

“How scary?” she frowned.

“To me, not very. To the world, pretty scary,” he admitted.

“Is that bravado or fact?”

“Little of both,” he smirked. “How about you, Leo been around with condolence pizza lately?”

“No,” she laughed, “I’m kind of off pizza these days and Leo went back to DC before you know, everything.”

Logan just nodded and grabbed a banana from a fruit bowl.

“It looks nice out,” Veronica changed the subject.

“It is, I already took a swim,” Logan said, and Veronica noticed his towel on the chaise they christened yesterday.

“What time is it?” Veronica realized she hadn’t looked at her phone since she got here.

“8:30,” Logan looked at his watch.

Veronica grinned, this was late morning for him.

“Not really a surfing spot,” Veronica noted.

“No, the rocks and the reef break the waves. There are some beaches with more open water, but I like this little bay, it is full of gorgeous fish, if you want to give snorkeling a try and the paddle board is fun.”

“I had a sex dream about Leo,” Veronica blurted.

“When?” Logan said calmly.

“When you were away last time, right before we got married.”

“Right before you decided to marry me?” he corrected.

“I don’t know what it meant. I don’t want Leo,” she assured him, her hand reaching out to trail along his bare chest.

“Veronica, I trust you, more than you know. Carrie cheated on me every time I was deployed. I never once worried that you were going to respond the same way to me being gone,” Logan took their coffee and indicated Veronica should bring the fruit and follow him outside.

He bypassed the table on the patio and headed for the chaise, putting the coffee on a small side table.

“However it manifests itself; I think Leo represents something easier for you, something that isn’t as much as this,” Logan was trying not to sound like a shrink.

“Yeah,” she nodded, “I thought I had sorted that all out a few years back when we worked the rape case.”

“Well, the fact that he ended up back in town right after I asked you to marry me was not ideal,” Logan rolled his eyes.

Veronica took a slice of melon from the bowl and ate it as she pondered.

“Leo was never easier per se, he was nothing, he was never even remotely in the same league as you, even when you were a jackass,” she sipped her coffee.

“The impossible is preferable to the improbable,” Logan said with a grin.

“Huh?”

“Aristotle maybe… it’s why women fall in love with gay men and celebrities. It is easier to deal with the impossible than the improbable. Less chance of getting hurt.”

“Maybe,” she followed a melon with the most delicious strawberry ever.

They were facing each other on the chaise, her knee tucked under her, his legs splayed on either side of her.

“We are pretty improbable,” she said finally.

***555*** 

The whole week was spent on the beach and in the bed. Veronica lounged and read 2 books, Logan took her snorkeling near the rocks and was now trying to teach her to paddle board.

“It looks so easy when you do it,” she whined.

“It’s all those crunches, I have very good core strength,” he waggled his eyebrows.

“I am familiar with your core,” she smirked.

Veronica was kneeling on the board now which was progress, but the idea of standing seemed impossible.

“Babe, you are not that tall, your center of gravity is solid. You can do this,” Logan floated in the water near the board trying not to cause any waves.

Veronica flexed one foot and planted her toes on the board and used her lesser core strength to stand with the paddle in her hands. The board rocked slightly, and she used the paddle to stabilize.

“Awesome,” Logan clapped.

“Now what?” Veronica was so focused on not falling off she wasn’t sure what to do next.

“Paddle,” Logan said with a laugh.

“Right,” she chuckled too and used the paddle as she had seen Logan earlier.

Veronica was doing pretty good, but one of her feet was at an odd angle and Logan knew she was shifting her weight wrong, but she paddled for a bit before he saw one of her legs tremble.

He was right there when she screeched and went in the water, he almost caught her and they both went under. They emerged laughing as the board floated away.

“I’ll get that,” Logan offered and swam off.

“I think I could have lasted longer, but I’m kind of hungry,” Veronica reasoned as Logan came back on the board, riding it on his stomach like a surfboard.

He floated lazily like that for a bit as Veronica spread her limbs out and floated on her back watching the birds flit overhead.

“We have a grill, I got burgers, want a late lunch?” Logan asked as he rolled off the board into the cool water.

“Mmmmmm,” she swam to him, “feed me and I might have the core strength for some other honeymoon activities,” she promised and kissed him soundly.

***555***  
The week went way too fast and Veronica felt her anxiety creeping back in on their last night together. As Logan kissed along her legs and up to her waist she tried to focus on the pleasure, but her mind wouldn’t let her. Logan heard her gasp, but it wasn’t the usual gasp she made when he was doing this. He looked up from his spot between her thighs and frowned when he saw her tears.

“Hey, no,” he was next to her in a second wrapping her in his arms.

“I don’t want to leave you,” she hiccupped.

“I know,” he whispered against her cheek.

She squeezed him as tightly as she could, wanting to imprint his body on hers, to meld them together into one being so she could just go with him, be inside him.

Logan let her cry, didn’t try to make it OK. It truly sucked, he felt it too.

“We’ll see each other again. I promise.”

They laid there quietly for a while and then Veronica kissed him, urged him on his back and threw her leg across his body. All night they reached for each other, in various states of slumber they touched and kissed and made love and when the sun came up Veronica kissed him again and slipped out of bed.

“I’m going to master that paddle board before we leave.”

***555***  
Veronica made the reverse journey back and found her car still in place at the motel outside Phoenix. She slipped her key in the lock and the room was cool and dark. She took off her clothes, dingy from travel and took a shower, it was lonely without Logan to wash her back, and wrapped herself in a thin scratchy towel.

She pulled the covers back on the lumpy bed and slid under them alone and cried herself to sleep.

The next morning, she called her dad.

“Hey, kiddo, I was starting to worry,” Keith said, and Veronica could hear Pony barking in the background.

“I just needed a break, Dad, thanks for holding down the fort. I am heading back now, should be there for dinner.”

“I’ll make lasagna. Drive safely,” he said, and she smiled, he always had her back.

When she made it through the front door, Pony slobbered all over her and she gave the love right back. Her dad walked out from the kitchen with barely a limp and smiled at her, she returned the affection.

“You look good, Veronica. Lighter somehow,” he said as he looked at her.

Two days later Veronica got a message on one of the pet adoption sites. It was a complex code, she memorized the numbers and that night at home she flipped through To Kill a Mockingbird: “Every day without you is pain, but seeing you healed me.”

As she closed the book and closed her eyes, she saw her husband standing by the water with the sun set turning everything warm and gold. She clutched the book to her chest and fell asleep.

TBC…


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Veronica gets a visit.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you to everyone who has reached out on this story. I am struggling to write Veronica these days, but I am committed to my fix-it verse for now. I will be going back to my other AU eventually, but for now, more Orion... This chapter is a little shorter, but I want to try and post every week and I needed to get this plot point out...I hope you like it!

For two months after receiving Logan’s last loving code, Veronica heard nothing. Nothing bad, but nothing good either. She kept to her protocols and otherwise kept her head down on cases.

She took a chunk of the money she was awarded for Logan’s “death” and put a down payment on a little house not far from the beach, but not in the middle of spring break central again either. Even after her apartment was fixed up after the bomb, she couldn’t go back there, and no one expected her to anyway.

The move was easy, they didn’t have much. Wallace tried to offer to buy her a new couch, but the orange one was theirs, hers and Logan’s, it felt like him, warm and comforting. She told Wallace he could buy her a chair.

She moved Logan’s bike.

Her father gave her a plant and she laughed for 5 minutes.

“It’s good to see you smile,” he patted her cheek and she cast her eyes to the floor.

“Logan would like this place; it would appeal to his sense of…”

“Minimalism” Veronica looked around the nearly empty space.

“He had his fair share of opulence, he just wanted to be close to you.”

“We were close, there were times I spit my toothpaste on him in the bathroom,” she smirked.

After 3 months of radio silence, Veronica was starting to get a little frantic and then she saw a message from Logan’s CO – RedSoxCat1918 and nearly vomited in the public library. Her hand shaking, she read and reread the message and realized it was another phone number.

She walked calmly to her car, pulled a burner from the glove box and had to dial twice when her shaking fingers slipped.

A man answered and asked for the codeword.

“Kumquat,” Veronica stuttered a bit.

“There is a package waiting for you at the front desk of the Sunset Regent hotel, under the name Evelyn Matthews,” and the man hung up.

The Sunset Regent could not be a coincidence, that was the hotel where she and Logan camped out hoping his mother was still alive. She threw the car in reverse and headed to Los Angeles. 

Veronica had been running errands when she stopped at the library to check the sites and was not really dressed for the Sunset Regent. She smoothed her hair back in a bun and applied a coat of lip gloss and walked in with her head up high.

The man behind the front desk was not the same man she charmed 15 years ago, which was probably a good thing, for both of them.

“Hello, may I help you,” he smiled brightly despite her yoga pants and paint-stained tee shirt.

“I believe you have a package for me, Evelyn Matthews,” she handed over one of her fake IDs that Logan knew about.

“Let me take a look,” he went into the office behind the front desk and returned with a manila envelope.

“Here you are,” he handed her the envelope which had the name Evelyn Matthews in block print on the front, not Logan’s loopy handwriting at all.

“Thank you,” she took the envelope and headed to the couches in the lobby, different than the ones she sat side-by-side with Logan on years ago and tore the seal open.

It was an address and a time. 3:00 am tomorrow.

She didn’t live at her dad’s anymore, he would never know she didn't come home, and when she used the burner phone to figure out where the address was, she realized it was closer to here than home. She called Dick and asked him to go take care of Pony, he wouldn't ask questions and decided to just stay at the hotel. The same man at the front desk did not bat an eye at the fact she was checking in with no luggage and she had brought not only Evelyn’s ID but her Amex as well.

The room was nice, it had a huge tub and Veronica had 10 hours to kill so she ordered room service and took a bath. She watched 6 episodes of Friends on TBS and napped a bit. Finally, at 1:30 she slipped out of the room and headed to the meeting.

The address was a truck stop off the highway, at this hour it was nearly deserted but for a few truckers at the counter drowning in coffee. She had no idea who she was meeting, if there was even a person there or just another envelope. Was Logan here? So close to home? His CO come to deliver the news of his actual death that would never come to light since everyone already thought he was already dead?

Her stomach roiled at all the possibilities when she saw a shock of purple hair in a booth at the back, a familiar smirk.

Veronica hurried to the booth.

“What’s going on?” Veronica said, not particularly friendly.

“Good to see you too, Veronica,” Mac sipped her coffee.

“Is this a joke? Where have you been? My husband dies and I don’t hear a word from you and now you’re here,” Veronica whispered furiously.

“Hi hon, can I get you anything?” a waitress approached impervious to the tension between the 2 women, well the tension in Veronica, Mac was just fine.

“Coffee please, with milk and pie? Do you have pie?”

“Apple or blueberry?” the waitress smiled.

“Apple please,” Veronica nodded, and the waitress retreated.

“Logan is fine. He told me to tell you that you would have more luck with the paddleboard if you started doing crunches,” Mac cocked her head to one side.

Veronica’s eyes went wide.

“How?” Veronica said nearly silently.

***Two Years Ago***

“Mars Investigations,” Mac answered the phone.

“Hey,” Logan said briefly.

“Hey yourself, she’s out right now,” Mac informed.

“I know. I was hoping I could talk to you for a bit.”

“She’ll marry you eventually, just give her some time,” Mac began.

“Not about Veronica. Could you meet me at the apartment?”

“Sure,” Mac said confused and hung up.

“I’m going to lunch, boss,” Mac called to Keith.

“Have fun!” Keith called back.

“Thanks for coming,” Logan opened the door with a smile and Mac was confused, Logan had sounded stressed on the phone.

“What’s up?” Mac sat and Logan offered her a bottle of sparkling water.

“Has Veronica told you anything about my job?” he asked.

“No, she makes it sound like you play shirtless volleyball a lot, but otherwise no,” Mac grinned.

“I have been reassigned. Intelligence,” he said briefly and saw Mac’s eyebrows disappear under the flop of her hair.

“I need a nerd,” he grinned.

“This nerd has saved your ass before,” she smirked.

“I took the liberty of having the Navy run your background and of course, they are interested. You would still be a civilian, but there would be some really great perks, like immunity for some of your less legal activities in the past.”

“Is that a threat?” Mac scowled.

“Not at all, I would not let them use anything against you, but that doesn’t mean someone else couldn’t uncover what they did.”

Mac nodded, she was good, but no hacker was completely invisible.

“I could actually be Q,” Mac said with awe.

“Huh? Does that make me James Bond?” Logan grinned.

“Veronica is Bond,” Mac smiled back.

“Of course she is,” he laughed, but then turned serious, “she cannot know about this.”

Mac nodded.

“It is dangerous enough that I read her in, if she knew about both of us, it is just too dangerous.”

“I understand.”

“We won’t make you disappear, you will get a cover job, a great one you cannot turn down.”

“I understand,” Mac nodded again as she took it all in.

“Are you interested?”

“Absolutely,” she smiled.

***Present Day***

“Is my dad a spy too? Wallace?” Veronica sighed.

“No,” Mac smiled.

“Why are you here? You said he’s OK?”

“He is, he is deep right now. He knew you would start to freak, and he has an informant close enough that he got a message to us. His CO said I could meet you, it wouldn’t look too weird, an old friend sharing some pie,” she tilted her head towards the approaching waitress.

When they were alone again and Veronica had inhaled half her pie she looked up at Mac.

“Were you ever in Istanbul?”

Mac laughed, “a lot actually. It’s gorgeous. I’m not usually with him, but generally in the vicinity. My job is very safe.”

“And his?”

“Not always safe, but he is so fucking good at it, V. You would be amazed at what he has done. I hope some day some of it gets declassified, so you can see how much he has done.”

“I miss him so much,” Veronica admitted.

“He misses you too, more than you can imagine. He hates what you are going through, so do I. How is everyone?”

“Dad is good, he misses you too, especially when he has to track phone records. Wallace and Shae are good, Noah is getting big,” she smiles.

“He sent me new photos. He sent an adorable one of Logan and Noah.”

“I framed it. I was so bitchy about how much Logan loved Noah. Loves, fuck I am so used to talking about him in the past tense. He’s so good with Noah and it scared the shit out of me, now I would do anything to have him here fighting about maybe babies,” Veronica scrubbed her hands over her face trying to stop the tears.

“This is not forever,” Mac reached out and held her hand.

“This is much better than a coded message from his CO saying he is fine,” Veronica squeezed Mac’s hand back and smiled at her friend.

“I know everything is classified; can you tell me anything? Not about this mission, but anything?”

“Well, there was this one time in Moscow…”

***One Year Ago***

“Echolls, you cannot expense a Faberge egg,” his CO hollered.

“It’s my only way to get into the auction,” Logan shrugged and tossed the egg in the air.

After the 4th toss Mac snatched it out of the air.

“This is worth more money than I will ever see in my life, let’s not damage it. I can resell it on the black market after the auction,” she assured the CO.

“Civilians do come in handy sometimes,” the CO smirked at Mac.

“I live to serve, Sir,” she nodded.

“I was going to give that to Veronica for Christmas,” Logan joked pointing at the egg.

“She’d really rather have a leather jacket,” Mac teased back.

“She has like 5 leather jackets, she has zero Faberge eggs,” Logan countered.

“True, but where would she keep it? Pony would eat that thing for sure.”

“My baby,” Logan whined.

“You had to bring up the dog?” the CO sighed.

“The perfect puppy,” Logan flounced back on the couch.

“Pony weighs 70 pounds, not a puppy,” Mac corrected.

“That’s when I knew. That Veronica was serious about staying with me, when she agreed to get that dog, I knew. Forever baby.”

“Oh please, it was always forever. You just took a long detour to get there,” Mac patted him on the shoulder and headed to the minibar for a beer.

“You knew this one when he was a kid?” their CO asked.

“I knew who he was in Junior High but didn’t really know him until high school and Veronica,” Mac clarified.

“Was he always this dramatic?”

Mac laughed, hard.

“Oh, this is not dramatic Logan. You have not even seen the edge of dramatic Logan,” Mac informed.

The Commanding Officer looked on in horror as Logan rolled his eyes.

“You get accused of one or two or three murders and have both of your parents die and you’re ‘dramatic’” he used air quotes and Mac continued to cackle.

***Present Day***

Veronica was grinning ear to ear at the story.

“I didn’t work with pilot Logan, but intelligence officer Logan is very comfortable in his own skin. It is a good job for him, appeals to his sense of duty but gives him some license to be himself and show how smart he is. I mean, I am sure flying a fighter plane requires crazy smarts, but watching his mind work a mission now is shocking. Your husband might actually be a genius.”

“I always knew that; he was way smarter than he let on. Is he really himself though? I feel like he is so different,” Veronica admitted.

“I don’t live with him, but he is very much Logan to me with a much less easily triggered temper. He’s grown up, he’s seen a lot, he has come to terms with a lot and he has grown up.”

Veronica nodded.

“Maybe I need to learn from him instead of mocking him.”

“He doesn’t talk to me about you much, not like that, it isn’t fair to you and it isn’t fair to me. I do know he loves you more than I thought was possible and that he is worth waiting for, fighting for, growing for…” she said the last bit with a cringe to her voice.

Veronica nodded again.

“God knows I have plenty of free time for personal development,” Veronica chuckled.

“You should get to see him soon, maybe the holidays,” Mac hinted.

“Way to bury the lead,” Veronica laughed.

“I don’t want to get your hopes up, things change fast, but I think when you see him this next time you should talk to him about this. It will make both of you feel better for however long this lasts.”

The sun was starting to rise along the highway and Veronica yawned.

“I am going to stop by Neptune and see my folks, I will swing by. Obviously, we did not have this meeting, so try to act surprised,” Mac grinned.

“I am becoming a very good actress,” Veronica declared.

“I’m glad we could really talk though. I feel so much better knowing you know, but Logan was right back then, it is more dangerous for you now than ever, no slip-ups.”

Veronica just nodded and Mac slipped out of the booth. Veronica finished her coffee and paid the bill with cash. She got back in her car and headed back to the Sunset Regent. She slipped back into her room and crawled into the rumpled bed. She fell asleep immediately and dreamt of Lynn Echolls, red convertibles on bridges and Faberge eggs.

TBC…


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It is a happy holiday season for Veronica.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this is a couple days late. I had a bit of a hectic weekend, but here is Chapter 4. Hope you enjoy it!

The day before Thanksgiving marked 8 months since Logan’s “death” and Veronica found a coded message waiting for her that translated to “I am thankful for you” waiting on one of the websites. She checked out a couple books from the library, smiled at the librarian and returned to her car where she promptly started to sob.

“I am so thankful too, that you are out there somewhere, alive,” she whispered between tears. When she got home there was a car she didn’t recognize in front of her little house and as she walked up the front path a dark head turned with a smile.

“I brought pizza,” Leo D’Amato grinned from her front porch.

“Hey Leo, what brings you to town?” Veronica smiled back.

“Home to see my family for the holiday,” he stood and shrugged his shoulders as his hands slipped into the pockets of the jeans he wore.

He had on jeans and a button down, a very common Logan outfit, but it was all wrong, the jeans weren’t dark enough, the shirt didn’t pull tight enough across the muscles Logan didn’t even need to flex to see.

“I am sure they are happy to see you. How’d you find me?” Veronica could hear Pony whimpering behind the door, he must have seen her pull in.

“FBI, remember,” he winked, and Veronica had all she could do not to laugh.

“Seems a bit of a waste of taxpayer money,” she frowned.

“Come on, Mars, since when have either of us played by the rules.”

“Echolls.”

“Huh?”

“I’m Veronica Echolls now. If you found the purchase of this house you should know that,” she opened the door and hid a smirk as Pony charged a bit.

“Pony,” she said, not as sternly as she usually would in this situation.

The dog obeyed and sat by her feet but looked up with a whimper.

“Stay,” Veronica commanded and opened the door again to get the leash.

“I need to walk him,” Veronica nodded her chin towards the sidewalk.

“I’ll tag along,” Leo invited himself and they left the pizza on the porch.

“So, you kept his name?” Leo asked when Veronica didn’t offer any topics of conversation.

“Logan’s?”

“Yeah,” he looked at her with confusion.

“My husband? Yeah, I kept his name.”

“He’s been gone awhile,” Leo wrung his hands as they walked.

“Not even a year.”

“And things between you guys weren’t that great right before…”

“Right before the bomber you and the FBI failed to capture blew him up?”

“We were called off,” he frowned.

“I was scared when he proposed, I’ll admit that, but I never stopped loving him. Not in the 9 years we were out-of-touch, not on any of his deployments, not since he died. If you thought this might be your chance, Leo, I am sorry. It isn’t. It never was. It was always Logan. Always.”

“That will be a very lonely life, Veronica,” Leo said with a wry look.

“Don’t worry about me, Leo. I am good at being alone, but since the very first time Logan kissed me, I have been his. No other man ever even came close. So I would rather be alone than with someone, even a guy like you, who is not him,” Veronica said honestly.

Leo just nodded and they finished the walk in silence. When they got back to Leo’s car he smiled at her again.

“Wish your dad a happy Thanksgiving for me?”

“Will do,” Veronica nodded, “thanks for stopping by,” she waved, and he climbed in his car.

Veronica watched him pull away, walked Pony up the stairs, took the pizza, opened the front door and walked right to the kitchen to dump it in the trash. 

“How about some kale, boy?” Veronica asked Pony as she went to make a salad.

The next day, Veronica sat around a table with her dad and his new girlfriend, Wallace, Shae and Noah and Matty and enjoyed a delicious Thanksgiving dinner. She was grateful for all of them and the support they had shown her these 8 months.

As she was serving herself a 2nd, or possibly 3rd, slice of pie, her dad approached.

“How you doing kiddo?”

“I’m fine, Dad,” she smiled, honestly.

“I know the holidays might be rough for you,” he shrugged.

“We missed plenty of holidays together when he was deployed, it’s no worse than any other day.”

“Margaret has invited me to spend Christmas and New Year’s with her family,” Keith said tentatively.

“In San Francisco?” Veronica asked, nervous she may be invited and miss any communication from Logan. She was still holding out for a holiday visit.

“They are actually going on a cruise this year. I am sure we could get you a cabin if you wanted to come,” he offered, and she relaxed as this was a much easier invite to turn down.

“A cabin for one, no thanks Pops,” she said with a smile, “it is fine, really. Have a wonderful time, we’ll celebrate before you go. Maybe I will take a trip over the holidays, go to Mexico or New York,” she smiled.

“Are you sure? I hate leaving you alone.”

“We’ll do all our silly traditions, we can start next week,” Veronica hugged her dad and he relaxed in her embrace.

Veronica was thrilled that Keith would be away, and she could sneak off at any moment if Logan could get free.

She waited and waited for word from Logan and saw her Dad and Margaret off at the Port of San Diego for their 12-day cruise to Mexico on December 22nd. Still no word from Logan.

On the morning of December 23rd, she checked the sites and got a message to call. She called from the burner she constantly had in her car these days.

A man answered and asked for the password.

“Persimmon,” she answered.

“There is a gift waiting for you at the Sea Glass jewelry store.”

And that was it, call terminated.

Veronica felt her stomach drop, a gift was not what she wanted this Christmas. Knowing not everything was as it appeared these days though, she pulled out of the parking lot and was at the Sea Glass jewelry store before it opened.

She was not told what name to use, so when she entered the shop and the older blonde woman behind the counter asked if she could help her, she said, “I’m Veronica Echolls, I was told you have something for me.”

“Oh yes dear, let me get it,” she moved to a door behind one of the cases and Veronica looked around the beautiful shop which was completely decked out for Christmas.

“Here you are, seems you have a secret admirer, this was ordered and paid for via wire, I am afraid I have no name, but yours of course,” she handed over the wrapped gift and then pulled out a small envelope, “this was to go with it.”

“Thank you so much,” Veronica accepted both items.

“You’re welcome and Merry Christmas.”

“Merry Christmas,” Veronica smiled as she ducked out.

In the car she examined the envelope, it had nothing written on the front and across the seal in the back someone had written in block letters, “Do Not Open if Seal is Disturbed”. She looked closely and the seal and the writing seemed completely intact.

She opened the envelope and shook out a luggage claim stub from the Neptune Grand. She drove to the familiar location and took the tag and a $10 bill from her wallet to the bell stand.

“I need my bag please,” she handed over the tag.

“Right away, Ma’am,” the uniformed young man said with a smile.

He was back quickly with a rolling black suitcase and a small carry-on. The carry-on was locked with a tiny padlock she noticed as she tipped the guy and headed back to the car. She drove around to the back of the property near the employee entrance but out of sight of the security camera, it was the spot she usually picked for a stakeout and opened the carry-on, the 4 digit code on the lock the same as the San Diego bus station all those months ago, Pony’s adoption date.

Inside the carry-on was the standard issue neck pillow, soft socks (which Veronica insisted on wearing when travelling), a kit with some gum, mints, Advil and the like, a clear plastic baggie with hand sanitizer, lotion, peppermint oil, micellar water and moisturizer all in TSA approved sizes. There was a cardigan sweater and a paperback novel by one Veronica’s favorite authors plus a couple trashy magazines she only read when she flew. She wondered if Mac had packed this bag for her.

In one of the inside pockets was also an iPhone.

Veronica held the phone in her hand and pressed her thumb to the home button. It unlocked. She did not want to think about how the Navy had her thumb print.

There was a text message that simply read “Air France APP”.

Veronica closed out of the text window and found the Air France app and sure enough she had a ticket to Paris for 3:25 pm that day under the name Gwendolyn Banks. Further investigation into the carry-on revealed a Passport in that name, an Amex and a good sum of cash in both Dollars and Euros. Veronica looked at her watch, it was almost noon and she had a plane to catch.

Veronica had no idea what the gift was that she had picked up at Sea Glass or if it was even really for her or just a means to get her the luggage tag. At the last moment she tossed it in the carry-on.

Curiosity got the better of her and she opened the larger suitcase before she checked it, noting some standard pants and tops, a warmer coat and a large quantity of lingerie. She now wondered who exactly did pack for her.

Veronica approached the first-class counter with her new passport and had no problem checking in. She found the Air France lounge and had a glass of champagne as she waited for her flight to be called. Christmas in Paris sounded really nice.

The flight was long, but Veronica slept for awhile and woke as breakfast was being served. They landed in Paris shortly after 11 am on Christmas Eve. Veronica collected her bag from the carousel and passed through customs without incident. As she passed through the automatic doors, she saw a man standing with “Gwendolyn Banks” on a sign.

“Bonjour,” she nodded at the sign.

“Hello, Madame,” the well-dressed man smiled and offered his hand for the handle of her rolling bag.

She followed him out to a sleek black car and got in the back as he stowed the bag.

The ride to the hotel was interesting as the industrial airport-adjacent part of Paris gave way to restaurants and cafes bustling at the mid-day hour on the eve of a holiday. People walked the sidewalks with bags and smiles and Veronica finally let herself slip into the holiday spirit.

The Little Palace Hotel was a tiny place on rue de Salomon next to a tiny little park that looked bare in the December light. The lobby was tiled with a gorgeous shade of blue and yellow that looked more like spring than Christmas, but it was charming.

“Mrs. Banks?” a young man behind the small front desk asked.

“Yes,” Veronica smiled.

“You are as beautiful as your husband described,” he returned the smile.

“Thank you,” she blushed.

“He is already upstairs, you’re on the top floor. I have a key here for you,” he handed over a packet that just said PH. “If you need anything please let us know.”

“Thank you,” Veronica said again, “Merry Christmas.”

“Merry Christmas,” he sounded like the English phrase brought him great joy.

Veronica entered the tiny metal cage that barely fit her and her bag and pressed the button for 5 which was the highest number there was to choose from.

The elevator stopped and the door rumbled open on a small dark hallway with only one door, a door that hopefully was the last barrier to her husband. She moved to the door and used the key she had been given.

It was early afternoon, but in December that meant soft light coming through the window near where Logan stood fixing a cup of tea. He turned as she entered and smiled. He had on dark jeans and a V-neck sweater in a dark hunter green that made his eyes sparkle. He was the most beautiful man she had ever seen.

“Hi,” her voice was breathy and soft.

“Hi,” he tapped the teaspoon against the edge of the cup and placed it down slowly, every movement graceful, but then he abandoned the freshly made tea and met her at the door. He took the handle of the suitcase out of her grip and rolled it out of the way.

“The best Christmas present ever,” he said as he wrapped his arms around her and kissed her deeply and thoroughly.

Veronica was weak in the knees as Logan pulled back from the kiss, her eyes struggling to focus on him.

“Very best,” she confirmed as she launched herself back into his arms.

He carried her through the small sitting room to the bedroom at the back. The suite was small by Logan standards, but it was so charming with a wrought iron balcony and slanted ceilings. At least that was what Veronica thought she saw before she was swept up in Logan and only Logan.

“I miss you. I love you,” he said over and over as he stripped her clothes off her.

“I should probably shower,” Veronica wrinkled her nose as she realized she had been on a plane over night.

“You’re perfect. I love you,” Logan kissed her mouth, her cheeks down the column of her neck.

Any concerns she had about hygiene flew out the window as he pulled her in to the soft bed. Veronica tugged his sweater off and the tee shirt below it, ran her hands along his shoulders and chest, memorizing him again. He looked good, tan and strong, healthy.

“You’re good?” she asked vaguely.

“So good,” he stuttered as her hand ventured to his belt.

“Not that,” she laughed, “that seems just fine,” she cupped him through his jeans and smiled when he pressed himself in to her further, “in general, you OK?”

“Yes, all good. You can examine me in detail later, right now?”

“Yeah, yeah, let’s go,” she scooted back in the bed and waved her hand in a ‘move along’ motion and he laughed as he crawled over her and pinned himself over her body on his long strong arms.

“Hi,” he said again.

“This is real, right?” she reached up and cupped his cheek, ran her thumb along it.

He just nodded, a mischievous grin on his face.

“Paris!” she beamed.

Logan proceeded to tell her how much he loved her in French and while she didn’t actually understand any of the words, she thought he had never said anything more beautiful to her before.

He moved inside her, slow and strong, the tendons in his neck betraying the tension in his body. He didn’t need to hold on too long though because Veronica was close, the smell of him, the feel of his body towering over her, the sound of his deep voice speaking French combined to driver her mad.

“Closer,” she urged him down, flush with her.

The change in angle and the hot feel of his skin against hers tipped her over the edge and she clung to him, legs wrapping around his slender hips and arms around his broad shoulders.

“Love you,” she mewled and that finished him.

He caught his breath against her body for a second before rolling his weight off her and lying on his back next to her, both their chests rising and falling rapidly. He hated losing their connection though, so he snuck his hand over and threaded their fingers together.

“How was your trip?” he asked casually.

She burst out in laughter.

“This is our life now, huh? Exotic locations, explosive sex and small talk?” she rolled on her side and propped her head in her hands.

“To be fair the only difference from before is the exotic locations,” he smirked at her and she blushed tucking her chin down to hide her smile.

“I miss you,” she said honestly.

“Me too,” he assured her and gathered her in his arms.

Veronica dozed against his body off and on for a couple hours, no small talk, just tender touches and long slow kisses between naps. When she woke now, Logan was not in the bed. She stretched and heard the shower running, remembering her lack of showering earlier she forced herself up in search of the water.

She took in the room around her, it was simply furnished, but had a huge Gustav Klimt print above the bed like a headboard. The burst of color and movement from the painting made the room come alive.

“I like this place,” Veronica said as she padded naked into the bathroom.

“It is quiet,” Logan poked his head out from the shower door, “but close to stuff.”

“Can we go out?” Veronica asked honestly. She had no idea what Logan’s protocol was, could he go out in public.

It wasn’t an issue in Bermuda as they had a perfect spot on the bay to enjoy the beach and a whole little house for food and what not. This was Paris though and Veronica had never been.

“Yeah, actually we have a dinner reservation. I forgot to introduce myself earlier, I’m Trevor Banks,” he offered her his hand and helped her up over the high lip of the tub to join him in the shower.

She went willingly and melted into his wet body happily, her lips finding his easily.

“Nice to meet you, Mr. Banks,” she hugged him tight.

Logan finished up and left Veronica to enjoy the hot water a bit longer. He dressed quickly and was putting on his shoes when she emerged wrapped in a towel.

“Your hair is longer,” he noted.

“I wanted to grow it out a little,” she shrugged.

“I like it,” he smiled.

“You always liked my hair long.”

“It was long when I fell in love with you,” he stood and kissed her again.

“College?”

“Soccer, when you were 12, all pigtails and skinned knees,” he looked off dreamily.

“You didn’t love me then.”

“I didn’t know I loved you then, but I definitely loved you then.”

She just shook her head at him and headed to the suitcase.

“Who packed this?” she asked as he reached over to toss it up on the bed for her.

“I did. I’ve been in Paris for a few days. I bought you some Christmas gifts,” he shrugged.

“How did it get to the Neptune Grand?”

“I can’t tell you that,” he frowned.

“What would’ve happened if I couldn’t make the flight? What if I didn’t check the posts until after dinner?”

“There were alternate flights,” he shrugged.

“You went to a lot of trouble,” she said as she found a pair of black wool pants and a red blouse to wear to dinner.

“I would go to the ends of the world to see you,” he promised.

They were able to walk to dinner and while it was chilly it wasn’t freezing; Logan wrapped an arm around Veronica and kept her plenty warm. The restaurant was warm and smelled amazing, Veronica’s mouth watering after eating nothing but airplane food since yesterday.

Logan ordered everything in French, and she tried not to stare at hi with googly eyes she was so in love with him.

The wine came first, and it was rich and warming. Next there was cheese, lots of cheese and Logan gave each type a tiny taste while Veronica slathered the soft cheeses on bread and ate the hard cheeses in huge chunks savoring the salty deliciousness.

A huge pan of mussels showed up next and those were all for Veronica. She ate almost all of them, sopping up the broth with even more bread.

“I got the steak and the chicken,” Logan said as the entrees appeared, “maybe we could share,” he accepted the chicken dish and indicated the steak should go to Veronica.

“Sure,” she said, happy to be accommodating, happy to be with him.

They ate off each other’s plates, enjoying each bite, talking about things at home. Small talk about her Dad and Matty, Wallace and Noah.

“Your dad is on a cruise?” Logan’s eyebrows shot up.

“I know, right? He likes this woman.”

“Good for him,” Logan smiled.

“Yeah, I don’t hate her.”

Logan smiled at her, tucked her longer hair behind her ear and kissed her cheek tenderly.

“I got dessert to go,” he whispered in her ear and she shivered.

Suddenly the waiter appeared with a to go bag and the bill. Logan paid with cash and slipped out of the banquet, but Veronica didn’t move.

“You OK?”

“You are so gorgeous,” she said as she slid towards him.

“Let’s go,” he said, and his words belayed his desire.

***555***

On Christmas morning, Veronica woke first. The room was still dark, and Logan slept peacefully next to her. She lay there, not wanting to break the spell she felt she was under since arriving in Paris. This honestly felt like a dream. She turned to look at the clock and saw a present on the nightstand, the present she picked up and never opened a couple days ago in Neptune. The present that led her here.

The clock indicated it was only 5:00 am and she knew they hadn’t gone to sleep until well after 2:00. She should sleep more but looking at Logan was way more interesting. She had thoroughly inspected his body earlier. There was a small scar where his neck met his shoulder, a knife wound she imagined, and she asked but got the same snarky reply about Mission Impossible.

He seemed fine overall though, healthy and strong and happy. It inspired her to be better, less mopey all the time. Maybe she should join a gym. Or get a bike.

As if he could hear her thoughts, Logan turned, his eyes barely open and took her in his arms.

“Sleep,” he murmured.

“But it’s Christmas,” she nearly vibrated in his arms.

“It will still be Christmas in a couple hours,” he promised, and she smiled against his bare chest, trying to talk herself back in to sleep.

It must have worked, because the next time she woke she smelled coffee. Logan was sorting a heavily laden room service cart in some low-slung pajama pants and nothing else.

Veronica sat up and made her way to her knees, inching her way to the foot of the bed, she reached out with grabby hands.

“Coffee?” he grinned.

“You. Bed. Now,” she insisted.

“There are croissants,” he pointed.

“Logan….” She nearly growled.

“With strawberry jam,” he read the small glass jar.

“Logan…” she repeated.

“Yes, Sugar Plum,” he batted his eyelashes at her.

“Get your hot ass in this bed,” she insisted.

“Merry Christmas,” he smiled as he stalked across the room and tackled her into the soft sheets.

Veronica shifted them so she was on top, her long hair falling on to his face and she smiled widely as she returned the holiday greeting before kissing him.

When they finally got around to breakfast the coffee was only lukewarm, but still the best Veronica had ever had, and she ate every bite of croissant slathered in jam before diving into an omelet.

“You haven’t opened your present?” Logan jutted his chin towards the nightstand.

“Haven’t you given me enough already this morning?” she asked with an overexaggerated wink.

“I can’t believe you haven’t opened it yet, being as you are so…what’s the word? Snoopy…” he put a finger to his chin to ponder.

“Har har,” she poked his calf with her toe and reached over for the beautifully wrapped gift.

“I wasn’t even sure it was a real gift or just a means to get me the luggage tag,” she shrugged and shook the box gently.

“It’s a real gift,” he promised.

She tore off the bow and paper revealing a box from the Sea Glass jewelry store. She lifted the lid and found a stunning piece of blue sea glass, large and jagged like a lightning bolt. It was wrapped in silver and suspended from a gorgeous silver chain.

“I found that piece of sea glass on a run, it reminded me of you, the jagged edges and the brilliant blue, I was able to commission the necklace anonymously,” he ran his finger along the chain and held the pendant up to the light.

“It is so pretty,” Veronica stared at it.

“It is very pretty but not so precious you couldn’t have bought it for yourself. It can’t look like a gift from me,” he frowned sadly at the charade they were living.

“I love it,” she cupped his cheek and kissed him softly.

“I don’t have anything for you,” she pulled back suddenly.

“Haven’t you given me enough already this morning?” he teased her back and she climbed into his lap to give him just a little more.

***555***

The week passed by in a flash of good food, great sites and even better sex. Veronica loved the Louvre, was awed by the Eiffel and spent hours in the Musee D’Orsay.

“I wish I could take pictures or even buy post cards,” she lamented as they walked along the Seine on New Year’s Eve.

“I know. We’ll come back some day when things are back to normal,” Logan squeezed her hand.

Veronica didn’t ask when that might be, fearing she would not like the answer.

“I forgot to tell you, Leo stopped by,” she didn’t know why she brought it up, was she trying to start a fight in their last couple days together?

“Wow, he didn’t even wait a year,” Logan literally took it in stride and continued to walk along the river.

“He brought pizza,” Veronica laughed.

“He is nothing if not consistent,” Logan sighed.

“It is getting a little redundant,” she admitted.

“So, the pizza wasn’t tempting?” Logan was suddenly quiet.

“Not even a little,” Veronica squeezed his hand back.

“Good,” Logan nodded and then stopped and pointed at the sunset, he let go of her hand to pull her to his side.

“Wow,” she breathed out.

“A whole new year ahead,” Logan kissed her head.

TBC…


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The new year brings radio silence for Veronica.

Logan said good-bye to Veronica in their little garret hotel suite, a week in Paris filling them both with love and hope. He couldn’t stop kissing her or running his hands through her longer hair.

“Have a good flight home. Give Pony tons of hugs and treats from me,” he said against the top of her head as she squeezed him tightly.

“Be safe,” she murmured against his chest.

“Always,” he promised.

Her phone buzzed the arrival of the car set to take her back to Charles De Gaulle, back to the US, back to Neptune, away from Logan.

“I love you,” she held his face in her hands and stared in his eyes, they clouded with tears or maybe they were her own.

He kissed her again.

“I love you too,” he said against her lips.

Logan closed his eyes, unable to watch her leave. Veronica kept herself together, waved good-bye to the hotel clerk who had been so very nice throughout their stay and slid into the back seat of the waiting car.

***555***

She beat her dad back to Neptune, picked up a surprisingly well-cared for Pony from Dick’s and got all the way home before she cried. When her dad called asking if she wanted to grab dinner since he had no food at home, she begged off and said she was looking forward to seeing his pictures at the office tomorrow.

Veronica dressed for bed in the tee shirt she had taken out of Logan’s bag in Paris, the one that still smelled like him. She knew it was a risk, to have anything of Logan’s, but she had shoved it in her suitcase anyway. She was walking through the house and realized Pony was at her heels.

“What’s wrong buddy?” she turned to the dog and the giant beast leapt up on her.

“You smell daddy,” she realized and hugged the dog tight.

She washed the shirt the next day.

Veronica dressed for work on January 3rd in a pair of black pants, a cream-colored top and her new necklace, the blue sea glass brightening up her outfit and bringing a smile to her face.

Keith was already in the office when she arrived.

“Thought you would need to sleep in, all that vacation time must have made you soft,” she said by way of greeting as she leaned in to give her dad a hug.

“I am so well-rested I woke up with no problem,” he assured her.

“Did you have fun? Did you partake in any conga lines? Or wet tee shirt contests?” she arched a brow.

“Not that I remember, but after the 5th margarita I may have lost track. How are you? You go out of town?” he indicated the piles of work around that were still there from before he left.

“I did, turned out being alone on Christmas is easier in a foreign country.”

“Are you OK, sweetheart?” Keith asked concerned.

“I’m fine. Wandered a bunch of art galleries in London,” she lied. Logan had told her that there was a plane ticket and a paper trail for Veronica in London if anyone snooped.

“Buy yourself a present?” he pointed to the necklace.

“It reminded me of Logan, of the ocean,” she shrugged, and Keith just nodded.

“Divide and conquer?” Veronica indicated the piles of folders.

“Sure thing, kid,” Keith smiled.

Veronica worked all day and headed to the library when she felt her Dad wouldn’t be suspicious. She was hoping Logan sent a message, a cipher like after Bermuda, a little message of love or a joke, anything, but there was nothing.

And nothing continued all through January. Weeks went by with no word from Logan or his CO. January ended, Logan’s birthday passed, and Valentine’s Day approached and still nothing. Veronica tried not to worry, but it got harder with every passing day.

On February 16th Veronica got to the office early and saw Clarence Weidman across the street. He entered a coffee shop. Veronica followed but when she went into the coffee shop he was no where to be found. Veronica ordered a macchiato and asked to use the rest room.

The kid behind the counter gave her her change and a key and pointed to a dark hallway. When she turned the corner in the hall, Clarence was standing in silhouette near an emergency exit, the bright blue sky behind him. He tilted his head and she followed, leaving the key and her macchiato behind.

Clarence slipped into a black sedan with tinted windows and Veronica walked to the passenger side.

“What’s happened?” Veronica said without any other greeting.

“I don’t know. He got back after Paris, he checked in and no one has heard from him since,” Clarence said honestly.

“Oh God,” she closed her eyes and tipped her head back against the headrest.

“It might not mean anything, he could just be in deep, out of safe contact zone,” the man continued.

“Has this happened before?” she usually never knew what was going on when Logan was away.

“Once or twice. He’s smart, he’s strong. I wanted to talk to you though in case you started to worry.”

“Start worrying?” she choked off a laugh.

“You know you can’t let anyone see you crack,” Clarence stared straight ahead.

“I know,” she sniffled.

“You need anything, press one,” he handed her a phone, “I know I haven’t been around since the incident, but I will pick up. If you need anything you call.”

Veronica nodded.

“He is smart and strong,” Veronica agreed and slipped out of the car.

Veronica managed a full day at the office despite the information Clarence gave her. Her mind raced with awful possibilities, but her heart told her Logan was alive. If he was dead, really dead, she would know. When her dad asked her if she wanted to grab dinner tonight, she agreed easily.

“I’d like the eggplant rollatini to start and the manicotti and meatball for my entrée please,” Veronica handed her menu to the waitress with a smile.

“Cheese is not a food group,” Keith laughed, and the waitress smiled.

“Calcium is very important for women,” Veronica sniffed.

“Uh huh,” Keith grinned, “I’ll have a house salad with Italian dressing and the Bolognese, please,” Keith placed his order and the waitress thanked them both and departed.

“Salad? Salad?” Veronica looked at her father funny.

“Margaret has me eating salad, claims she wants me around for a while,” he blushed.

“Awwww, that’s adorable,” Veronica teased.

“You started jogging when Logan moved in,” he accused.

“I ran before Logan, not much or well, but I had run on occasion before,” she trailed off lamely.

“You did pick up some of his better qualities,” Keith admitted.

“Oh please, Logan is a saint compared to me,” Veronica froze as she realized she used the present tense, the look on her face must have passed for sorrow.

“Hey, it’s OK. He is always on your mind,” Keith reached over and patted her hand.

Veronica just nodded. He was very much on her mind right now. Where was he? Why hadn’t he checked in? Where was Mac? Did she know anything?

When Mac was in town after Thanksgiving, they took a walk on the beach and she told Veronica that there was no way for them to be in touch, at least not for Veronica to reach Mac, surely Mac could find a way to reach her.

“It will get better,” her father was still trying to comfort her as the waitress arrived with their bottle of wine.

Veronica took a long swallow of the red wine and tried to figure out what had happened to her husband.

***555***

The next morning Veronica woke with the tinge of a red wine headache and an eager dog needing her attention.

“Beach?” she asked.

Pony tilted his head as if he was considering a verbal answer.

“Give me 5 minutes,” she held up her hand as if the dog could tell time.

Veronica washed her face and brushed her teeth, threw on some sweatpants and an old hoodie of Logan’s scraping her hair back in a ponytail before pulling on her sneakers. She leashed the dog and tucked her wallet in the pouch of the sweatshirt.

“Coffee first, buddy,” she tugged the dog away from the beach to the little café on the corner. She looped Pony’s leash to an empty bike rack and ran in for coffee and a croissant.

Dog beach was nearly deserted on a chilly foggy morning in February. She let Pony off leash, and he ran to the surf and back a dozen times. She tossed a ball in a game of fetch until the dog brought the ball back and curled up next to her in the sand.

“This croissant is not as good as Paris,” she said quietly to the dog.

There was an older woman walking the beach but well outside hearing range, so Veronica continued to talk to the dog.

“I always feel closer to him here, you know? Like he’d just walk out of the water, board under his arm, like James Bond. I miss him so much I feel the strength of my feelings will just cause him to materialize. We used to come here a lot when we dated, it was the less popular beach, we could hide out and make out,” she laughed as the dog nudged her thigh and rested his head on her leg.

Veronica pet Pony on the head and sipped her coffee.

“We had bad times here too. There were bad times. We were young and stupid and hurt, so hurt by everything that happened. I accused him of awful things, things he never ever could have done, and he had a temper,” she kept talking.

“He never hurt me physically though, he couldn’t, he wouldn’t. He hurt himself more than he ever hurt me. He’s worked so hard; he’s come so far. I haven’t given him enough credit for what he’s done. I mean as much as he tried to convince me therapy was a good idea, he didn’t crow about his own advancements, he didn’t rub them in my face, he just got better.”

Veronica noticed the dog was asleep on her leg.

“Am I boring you?” she laughed.

She lay back in the sand, not caring about it getting in her unwashed hair and looked at the sky, clearing and becoming a crisp February blue.

She thought about the day Logan smashed her headlights in, the spark of desire she felt at the aggression and tension in his body. She thought about the night shortly before the bombing when she goaded him in to smashing the cabinet and then jumped him. She definitely liked his edges, as much as he worked to smooth them out.

“I’d take him totally smooth right now, if it meant he was OK,” she said to the sky.

***555***

The calendar flipped to March; she couldn’t go another day. She took out the phone and pressed 1.

“Yes,” Clarence answered on the 2nd ring.

“Anything?” she asked.

“No,” he sighed.

“OK,” she hung up with nothing further.

Her daily jogs had become 5-mile runs. The feel of her feet hitting the pavement kept her from floating away. She worked long days and fell asleep exhausted every night, dreamt of Paris and paddleboards.

Her father spent more and more time at Margaret’s house, and she wondered if they would move in together. Wallace’s basketball team was decent, and she went to a couple games, even held Noah when Shae had to pee. Life kept moving forward.

Veronica froze when Wallace introduced her to a fellow-teacher, and it felt a bit like a set-up for a date and Veronica made a quick excuse and a hasty retreat. It was almost a year since her husband supposedly died and she was worried he might actually be dead now. Would anyone ever know? Would she have to mourn privately having already faked it for the public?

She had checked the sites every day since Paris and she had considered not checking tonight as she made her way home from the basketball game, but as she got closer to home her pulse raced and she just couldn’t break the habit. It was too late for the public library, but she had a fake Hearst ID and drove across town to her old campus.

The library was dead as it was almost Spring Break again. She logged on and started searching the sites. She had made her way through 2/3 of them when she saw it. A message from Logan. It was a phone number. She read it twice, it was only posted 10 minutes ago, and she so wanted to be able to grab him online, like the old days when he was on the carrier and she would randomly get him online at some odd time.

She reread the message, making sure her eyes weren’t playing tricks on her and memorized the number. She walked to her car and opened the new burner phone that had been sitting there since she got back from Paris in January.

She dialed the number.

“Hello?”

“Logan?” she gasped.

“Hey,” he breathed out the word in relief.

“Are you OK?”

“I will be,” he promised.

“Are you hurt? In trouble somewhere?”

“I can’t really say, but I will be OK.”

“How are you calling me?”

“I am in safe space for a while. Feel like coming to visit?” he teased.

“Of course, where are you?”

“Brisbane.”

“Australia?” she asked.

“Yep.”

“How do I get there?” she awaited her instructions.

“I’d recommend a plane, it is really far away,” he chuckled.

“Your sense of humor hasn’t been damaged,” she deadpanned.

“Use the Lucy Ford passport, go to LAX next Friday night, flight’s at 10:40. We have a suite at the Marriot on Queen St.”

It was so surreal to be talking to him, after over a month of worry, they were chatting like he was asking her to pick up the dry cleaning.

“How are you, Veronica?” he asked gently.

“Been a little worried,” she admitted.

“I am sorry you had to worry. I will tell you as much as I can when I see you.”

“Australia?” she repeated.

“Not a bad place for some R&R.”

“Stay out of trouble until I get there?” she asked.

“I promise.”

“Can I say I love you on this spy line?” she didn’t want to hang up.

“You just did. I love you too, Veronica, I’ll see you soon.”

TBC…

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Like Veronica, I am off to Australia tomorrow. I will be writing the next chapter while I am there, but won't be able to post until I am back as I only have my work computer traveling with me. I hope it will be worth the wait!


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Australian adventures abound!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I had an amazing 2 weeks in Australia and I wanted to share it with Logan and Veronica.

Veronica was so shocked to talk to Logan that she failed to ask a lot of important questions, like how long should she plan to be away. She hoped that travelling all the way to Australia it would not be a quick turnaround time and as she drove to the office she tried to come up with a cover story for this trip.

Her first 2 trips had gone over pretty easily, they made perfect sense, but this one would be pushing it, especially if she got to spend an extended period of time with Logan in Australia. She considered telling her dad she got a case out of state like the first time, but she would have to actually come up with a pay check. Logan could likely transfer some money in to the MI account to cover her story.

Veronica was still working out her cover when she walked in to the office and almost tripped over her own two feet when she saw her dad talking to Mac.

“Look who the cat dragged in?” Keith tilted his coffee cup at Mac.

“Well, I’ll be,” Veronica smiled broadly, knowing this was no coincidence.

“Hey, Veronica,” Mac pushed off the edge of the desk she was leaning against to hug her friend.

“Mac here was just inquiring about your services,” Keith grinned.

“My services? Well if it is IT related my skills end at unplugging it and plugging it back in,” Veronica chuckled.

“My employer is interested in a little behind the scenes work,” Mac said vaguely, “not quite something they want on the books.”

“I am very good at off the books,” Veronica nodded.

“Might be a few weeks,” Mac said.

“Istanbul?” Veronica played along.

“Miami.”

“Damn,” Veronica snapped.

“I told her we could spare you for a while and I am happy to keep Pony, he needs a little pampering from Grandpa,” Keith said with a wink.

“By pampering you mean human food.”

“That is how I pampered you,” Keith pointed out and Veronica nodded.

“I’ve missed this,” Mac said honestly.

“Our schtick? We’ve done this routine for ages.”

“It is nostalgic and homey,” Mac looped an arm through Veronica’s. “Have time for coffee?”

“Sure, I need to hear your pitch. Bring you anything, Pops?”

“No thanks, I prefer my coffee from a crusty glass pot,” he pointed at the ancient coffee maker.

“I won’t be long,” Veronica promised.

“Good to see you Mac,” Keith leaned in to give her a kiss on the cheek.

“You too, Keith. Congrats on the new hip,” she winked.

The women headed across the street to the new coffee shop she had met Clarence Weidman at last month and ordered fancy coffee and scones. Once they were settled in a little booth Mac started first.

“He thought you might need a cover story.”

“Your timing is impeccable. I was trying to come up with one the whole way to the office and I wasn’t sure how long I was even going to be gone.”

“You’ll have at least 2 weeks, maybe more.”

Veronica grinned broadly and then remembered her conversation with Logan.

“Is he OK?”

“I don’t know anything. Really. I am not keeping you in the dark. I only get bits of information on a need to know basis and apparently in this case I did not need to know. I talked to him briefly though and he sounded OK,” Mac said as she broke her scone in to pieces.

“I talked to him as well, but he has always been good at not telling me things he think will upset me.”

“You’ll get to see him with your own eyes on Sunday.”

“Friday,” Veronica corrected.

“You leave on Friday, you get there on Sunday,” Mac corrected and Veronica’s eyes went wide.

“It’s really far away.”

“Why is my cover Miami?” Veronica asked suddenly.

“Similar climate, background scenery. If you told Keith you were in Istanbul you couldn’t send him a photo of anything as nothing in Brisbane could pass for Istanbul. This way you could text him a selfie and the background scenery should match.”

“Smart.”

“We think of these things,” Mac grinned. 

“Are you coming too?” 

“To Australia? No. I think Logan would be a little miffed if I honed in on your anniversary trip,” Mac laughed.

“Oh my God, I didn’t even realize. It will be our anniversary. Seems hard to believe since we’ve only had a couple weeks together all year,” Veronica frowned.

“I know this must be so hard on you and I am sorry for the peripheral part I play in it, but you have to know that what he is doing is very very important,” Mac whispered.

“I know. I trust him. He wouldn’t choose this if it wasn’t important.”

***555***

The week flew by for Veronica. She had cases she wanted to wrap up and she spent some quality time with Pony. She had taken to telling the dog all of her secrets and he continued to be a great listener. She did a little research on the weather in Brisbane and packed for warm with lots of beach stuff.

She researched flying to Australia and how to manage a 14 hour flight. She packed lots of comfort and entertainment in her carry-on. 

She dropped Pony off with her dad and headed to the airport. Presenting the correct passport at the Qantas counter she was checked in to business class and directed to priority security and the Qantas lounge. Veronica hoped that Logan did not drain his trust fund with these trips as she wanted someday to actually go somewhere with him.

In this case though, Veronica was happy for the splurge, her business class pod was very comfortable with a completely lay flat seat so she could sleep a little.

Despite the comfort though, a 14 hour flight was a 14 hour flight and when she stumbled through Customs to the arrivals hall at Brisbane airport she was very glad to see a man with her fake name on a sign.

“Hello,” Veronica approached the young man and he smiled.

“Let me take that for you,” the man took the handle of her roller board and led her towards the exit.

Once in the comfort of a dark SUV the man turned to her.

“It is a pleasure to finally meet you, Mrs. Echolls.”

Veronica looked up startled and concerned, but then she realized she knew that voice.

“You’re the man on the phone, when I call?” she blurted out before she could think better of herself.

“Correct, what is the password today?”

Veronica could barely remember the day of the week let alone what month it was, but she finally remembered.

“Lichen,” she said.

The young man smiled.

“You still have a little journey ahead of you. There is water and snacks in the cooler there,” he pointed to a small soft-sided cooler.

Veronica dug in and thirstily drank some cold water, so dehydrated from the long flight.

“Is he OK?” Veronica asked hoping this fellow knew more than Mac.

“I haven’t seen him yet, but I talked to him on the phone, he seemed fine,” the young man said cautiously but with a smile.

Veronica nodded, even antsier that no one seemed to have seen her husband. She had flown 13,000 miles and these last few were really testing her resolve.

Veronica tilted her head back against the seatback and closed her eyes. She must have dozed off as the ride seemed to just be minutes long and her bottle of water had tilted, spilling on her pant leg.

“Time to switch to a boat,” her guide informed her, “there is a restroom here if you need it, we have about 90 minutes on the boat.”

“OK,” was all Veronica could manage in her sleep-deprived haze. She went to the restroom, peed and washed her face real quick.

The boat was modest, but comfortable and there was even more food on board. A cheese board with fruit and nuts and bread was like heaven after airplane food. Veronica ate and looked out at the amazing views of Brisbane she could see from the boat.

“We’re heading to a small island, called Tangalooma, it’s in Moreton Bay, supposed to be really pretty.”

“And Logan is there?”

“Yes, he has been there a couple days now according to my intel. He sent me the coordinates.”

“I’m Veronica by the way,” Veronica introduced herself as the man steered the boat.

“Matt,” he smiled.

“Hi Matt,” Veronica smiled back.

“He’ll be very happy to see you. He talks about you a lot.”

“Yeah?” Veronica said shyly.

The kid just nodded. Veronica smiled as she went back to her seat and looked out at the expanse of blue ocean around her.

The island appeared out of the corner of her eye. It seemed to be nothing but trees and huge swaths of sand.

“There are binoculars, there,” Matt pointed, “I hear that people go sand sledding on the island.”

Veronica picked up the binoculars, always happy to do a little snooping and looked towards the sand. Sure enough there were people on mats sliding down the side of the island.

“Wow,” she gasped, it looked terrifying.

She then used the binoculars to look for her husband, but there were no broad shouldered shirtless men standing by the shore. Veronica could make out some buildings off a ways, the looks of a hotel or resort, but Matt was taking them around the other side of the island. He maneuvered the boat very close to the shore, Veronica could feel the boat bottom out on the sand, but the bottom of the ocean looked as soft as silk.

“You may want to take off your shoes, this is as close as I can get.”

“OK,” Veronica would have taken all of her clothes off if it meant she could see Logan sooner. She slipped off her Chuck Taylors and socks and tugged her yoga pants up to her knees.

The water was so beautiful, the turquoise color she so loved in Bermuda. It was warm as she stepped off the boat and her grimy body just wanted to fall back in it. Matt handed her her carry-on and hefted her larger bag up over his head to keep it dry.

There was a short beach and then a stone path that lead to what looked like a simple straw hut. Veronica hurried to keep up with the long legs of her guide, but the sand was softer than she was used to and she kept sinking. Finally she made it to the stone and toed her sandy feet into her sneakers again. Then she saw him.

He was wearing swim trunks, low on his hips and no shirt. He was eating a mango. He looked fine. More than fine, he looked absolutely delicious.

“I can take it from here, Matt,” Veronica smirked.

“Uh, OK, Ma’am,” he stuttered.

“Did you just ‘Ma’am’ Veronica?” Logan exited the hut and found his way to his wife as quickly as possible.

“She dismissed me, Sir,” Matt frowned as he snapped a salute at Logan.

Logan returned the salute with an ‘at ease’ and proceeded to kiss his wife soundly.

“You’re OK,” Veronica said this time, instead of asking.

“Yeah,” he promised her.

“Thank you for making the run,” Logan turned to Matt and took Veronica’s suitcase, “your ride is here,” Logan pointed up at a helicopter overhead.

Veronica watched in awe as the helicopter lowered as close to the ocean as it reasonably could and dropped a ladder.

“Call if you need anything,” the younger sailor instructed.

“I’ve got all I need right here,” Logan smiled as he pulled Veronica to his side.

The couple stood on the edge of the beach and watched Matt swim out to the helicopter and climb the ladder.

“He couldn’t just take the boat?” Veronica arched an eyebrow.

“That’s our boat.”

“You bought a boat?”

“I rented a boat,” he clarified, “it’s our transportation.”

“Are we going somewhere?” Veronica asked as she leaned up to kiss him again, he tasted like mangoes.

“Eventually, maybe,” he said as he raked his fingers through her hair.

Veronica kissed him again and again, inadvertently pushing him back towards the hut. When they finally stumbled in through the open doorway she looked around in awe, it was cozy and clean, with wide open windows. She realized they were on the point of the island, the ocean visible on 3 sides as if they were floating in it.

“It is gorgeous here,” she sighed.

“It just got considerably more beautiful with your arrival,” Logan kissed her tenderly as she rolled her eyes, he was so shmoopy sometimes, but damn if it didn’t make her stomach flip a little.

“What do you need?” Logan asked in a whisper.

“You,” was all she could muster as she pushed at his swim trunks.

He lifted her easily, her sandy feet coming out of her half-on sneakers to wrap around his torso. She ran her hands as far down his back as she could and her fingers skittered over small raised scars, new ones she so desperately wanted to know about.

“Are you OK?” she pulled back and looked at him. His eyes were filled with passion, but she saw them clear for a second.

“I will be,” he promised her and then the passion was back and he spun her towards the small bed.

***555***  
Veronica was asleep as soon as they finished, the lack of sleep and the time change ganging up to knock her flat out. Logan didn’t mind, he loved getting to watch her sleep, to really look at her without her turning away or calling him shmoopy.

She looked tired, but good, her face peaceful in sleep. He slipped out of the bed and made sure he didn’t wake her, but she just snuffled and rolled in to the empty space he left, curling her arm around his pillow. He walked out of the hut and down to the shore, there were no people or other structures on this tip of the island and he walked, completely naked, in to the ocean.

He swam a bit and then floated on his back. A school of fish came to check out the human and swam circles around him, every now and then getting close enough to tickle his calf or his shoulder. This place was heaven, it was so beautiful and so remote yet close enough to civilization that he could get food delivered and more importantly get Veronica delivered.

“I woke up alone,” he hears her voice from the shore.

“I thought you’d sleep longer,” he righted his body, the water higher than his waist, “lose that shirt and join me.”

Veronica looked around and realized there were absolutely no points on the island with site lines to this cove. There were no boats on the horizon and no aircraft overhead. They were as alone as they could be outside. She slipped the tee shirt she had found in the hut off and laid it in the sand and headed in to the glorious water she had wanted to collapse in earlier.

As soon as she was deep enough she dove in to the gentle waves and emerged just shy of Logan.

“Nice, right?” he grinned.

“Perfect,” she nodded, keeping her body under the water despite the evident privacy.

Logan moved closer and swam them out further, Veronica’s arms and legs loosely wrapped around his body.

“Tell me what you can,” she said.

Now that she had satisfied her most urgent needs, her next most-urgent, curiosity, was making itself known.

“A lot of what I do revolves around winning people’s trust. Proving loyalty,” he began and she nodded in understanding, it was similar for her.

“My mark is not quick to give either,” he shrugged.

“Like me,” she smirked.

“You take a while to trust, but once you do your loyalty is immutable,” he kissed her.

“How did you need to prove your loyalty?” she ran her wet fingers over the fresh scars on his back.

“Nothing I was not trained to handle,” he promised.

“That’s not really an answer.”

“Do you really want to know?”

She nodded.

“Isolation. Sleep deprivation. Physical and mental tests of fortitude,” he recited as if reading menu items at the local deli.

“They hurt you,” she said.

“Yes, but that is almost easier to manage because there is something to focus on, the pain is more manageable than the fear. That was always true when I was a kid too. Wondering when the pain was coming was worse than managing the actual violence. The isolation and deprivation weeks were the worst,” he admitted as Veronica’s eyes misted over.

“Weeks?” she said quietly.

“It was a 10 week endeavor.”

“Jesus,” she swore under her breath and held him close.

“I’m OK.”

“So how did it end?”

“I passed,” he said with genuine pride in his voice.

“How are you here then?”

“I told him I needed a little R&R after everything and that I needed to consider if I wanted to do business with someone who would do that to an ally. It’s the whole absence makes the heart grow fonder thing,” he chuckled.

“So you get to recover and he hopes you come back to him?”

“Exactly. When I go back, I should be able to get the intel we really need, I should be invited into the meetings we have been working towards.”

“So it’s almost over?” she said her optimism bubbling up.

“Possibly, depends on what we find. He might be the top of a huge food chain or he might be the key to cracking it all. We are closer than we have ever been,” he whispered in her ear and she shivered against him.

“Cold?” he smirked as the sun beat down on them.

“Nnnnooo,” she stuttered as he leaned in and nibbled her neck.

She arched back in his arms, the water supporting her where he didn’t and he moved his lips from her neck to her breasts, one hand sliding along her wet rib cage to touch her.

“Oh God,” she gasped as she tried to press herself even closer to him.

Veronica’s hair floated in the water and made her feel ethereal and weightless as Logan brought her closer and closer to…..

“Oh God,” she arched again as she came hard against his fingers.

He pulled her up and kissed her deeply. She reached down to join their bodies together in the water and slid against him easily, wet skin against wet skin.

Logan growled in her ear as she clenched herself around him as she moved and it wasn’t long before he was groaning her name.

When they finished Veronica pushed off and floated away, Logan chasing after her in the water and floating close to her, reaching out his hand and foot to touch her. He hooked his ankle over hers and stared up at the bright blue sky.

“Are you really OK?” she asked again quietly.

“I have a few more roguish scars, but yeah.”

“Not your body, your body has been through plenty. Are you OK? Are you still you?” she turned her head and saw he had done the same, the blue water between them.

“I’m still me, I promise,” he smiled.

***555***

For six days Logan and Veronica didn’t leave their tiny little oasis. Matt returned with some food and a computer for Logan, which Veronica was not thrilled about.

“I just have to post a few things on some message boards, you aren’t the only one I communicate with this way. I may be taking some time, but I cannot fall off the underworld radar altogether,” he explained as he booted up the computer in bed.

She just nodded and cracked open her novel. A bird had taken to visiting in the afternoon. It was a good sized bird, bigger than anything in Neptune, with long spindly legs. It seemed perfectly content to curl up in the corner of the hut though and barely even made any noise. Veronica liked to imagine that it had a very crowded nest at home with a lot of squawking babies and this was a quiet refuge.

“Should we be worried about hat bird?” Veronica asked casually.

“You mean Fred?” Logan looked over and saw the bird tuck its beak under its wing.

“You named it Fred?” she grinned.

“As good a name as any,” he shrugged.

“Should we be worried about Fred?”

“Does Fred look like something we should worry about?” he asked as he typed.

“It is a big bird.”

“He’s never come any closer than that.”

“He might be biding his time, waiting for the perfect opportunity to attack.”

“He doesn’t look like an attack bird,” Logan dismissed as he kept typing.

“We’ll see,” Veronica was unwilling to concede her concern.

“Hey, you want to go somewhere tomorrow?”

“Sure, where? Do I have to wear clothes?” she grinned, they had been naked nearly constantly.

“A secret and yes, probably clothes are a good idea.”

“I suppose. It would be terrible to come all the way to Australia and not see anything but you and Fred,” she grinned.

“Fred and I are some of the best sites in Australia,” Logan protested.

“Please finish your work so we can have sex again,” she batted her eyelashes at him and laughed when he chucked the expensive military computer on the hut floor before tackling her.

The next morning, Veronica woke up alone. She sat up and could see Logan out by the boat. She stood up and stretched, her body both rested and sore from all the sleeping and fooling around they had partaken in these past few days. 

The jetlag had proven to be fierce but it was mitigated by the spontaneous middle of the night sex that Logan seemed more than ready for at any point.

She could see Logan had shorts and a tee shirt on, the edge of the khaki shorts dark from the water he was working in. She dressed in a similar fashion.

“Hey, morning,” he greeted her as he came in and poured her some coffee from the French press they had been using.

“Morning,” she kissed him as she accepted the coffee.

“So wear your flip flops for the boat, but pack socks and sneakers. Bring sunscreen and maybe a hat and your camera,” Logan instructed.

On each of their trips Veronica had taken pictures. She left the SD card with Logan who assured her the military would keep it safe and that someday the pictures would be theirs. Logan grabbed his own sneakers and a Boston Red Sox hat.

“Your CO’s?” she asked.

“Our cover identities, I went to Boston University,” he reminded her.

He checked his wallet and grabbed a cooler.

“Ready?’ he asked.

“Where are we going?” she asked as she followed him out of the hut.

“Surprise, remember?”

“I hate surprises, remember?” she countered.

“You’ll like this one, I can almost guarantee it.”

They boarded the boat and Logan took up the anchor. He checked the controls and started up the engine. Before she knew it they were heading towards the horizon.

Shortly in to their journey their boat was surrounded by dolphins, curious creatures that they are. They played in the wake of the boat and Veronica snapped some pictures.

“Keep an eye out for sea turtles,” Logan mentioned as they ventured further.

Sure enough a turtle appeared by the side of the boat and raised his head to Veronica as if to say hello.

About 45 minutes in to the trip Veronica could see the city on the horizon, the modern tall buildings in stark contrast to the gorgeous nature around them. She also noticed the expanse of water had narrowed considerably.

“Are we there?” she asked as she approached her husband and laid a hand on his back.

“Not yet, we are moving on to the river, still another hour or so,” he informed.

Veronica opened the cooler and grabbed some water as they moved along the wide river, amazing houses and beautiful parks on both sides keeping her entertained. 

The scenery started to turn more rural the further they went and Veronica moved back to Logan.

“I can’t stop thinking about what you went through,” she said.

“I don’t want you worrying about it, I am fine,” he smiled at her.

“I know you are, you always are and I hate that you just keep going through things like this. Why couldn’t you become a writer or a school teacher or something?” she frowned.

“I am uniquely suited to this work,” he stated in a tone that indicated he has said it before.

“I have no doubt, but that doesn’t mean you should have to do it.”

“I know your opinions of therapy in general and Jane specifically, but she has helped me to compartmentalize my abuse as a child and the stress and violence of my work. I am not a victim now; I am in control of my situation.”

“How was the past 10 weeks in your control?”

“I have been trained, I have tools and skills that the government spent a lot of time teaching me,” he shrugged.

“No one taught me how to handle Aaron,” he continued.

“Is that why you handled me so well last year, when I was so bitchy?”

“I saw right through you Veronica. I knew what you were doing and why and aside from that one night I let you get the better of me I just bided my time and let you work through your shit. I won’t say I didn’t worry, especially when you decided doing drugs with strangers was OK, but I knew you would figure it all out,” he smiled.

“I was terrible to you,” she pointed out.

“And you apologized for that, in Bermuda, remember?”

“Seems hardly sufficient,” she pouted.

“I love you, Veronica, I have for over 20 years. That’s it, your it, the only one. Ever. If I ran away scared every time you went emotionally wobbly, I wouldn’t have made it through high school.”

“I did accuse you of murder a couple times,” she grinned and he laughed.

“We’re here,” Logan pulled the boat up to a small dock where a couple other pleasure craft were moored.

“Ready?” he smiled back at her.

“I guess,” she shrugged, unsure where they were.

Logan did something on his phone and then climbed on to the dock, reaching back to help her out of the boat. There was a very steep set of stairs from the dock up in to the woods around them.

“Ziplining?” she guessed.

“Nope.”

“Tree forts?”

“Nope.”

“Infiltrating a girl scout camp?”

“Not since I was 13,” Logan laughed.

“Archery practice?”

“Stop guessing, we’re here,” he pointed to a sign over their head that read “Lone Pine Koala Sanctuary”.

“Koalas!” she bounced on the balls of her feet and clapped like a child.

“I thought you might like the smelly little guys,” he grinned.

Taking her hand he passed through the ticket area with the tickets on his phone. They studied the map and made a bee line for the koala cuddling area. It was $25 to hold the koala and get your photo taken. They could not risk having their photo up on the park website though so Logan paid the $25 and insisted he just snap a photo with Veronica’s camera. It was one less picture to print for the park and no one seemed even slightly suspicious about why.

Veronica met her koala who snuggled right in to her and Logan tried to tear his eyes off his adorable wife long enough to take a picture for her. Veronica was talking non-stop to her koala and the handler, completely in love with the little guy.

They moved through the koala area, the animals so close and easy to observe. Most of them were sleeping and several of them were snuggling babies. Veronica was babbling a non-stop “so cute” at everyone they saw.

They came to a crossroads in the park and a sign pointing down one path said kangaroos.

“Kangaroos!” she exclaimed.

“When in Australia,” he grinned and let her lead him down the path.

The kangaroos were in a huge stretch of grassland, hopping about at their leisure and lounging around in the shade. Veronica was in awe of them, so stoked to watch them up close.

“This is the best place ever,” she declared as she wrapped an arm around Logan’s elbow and tugged him close enough to kiss.

“I thought you might like it,” he winked.

Their next stop was ice cream and then they sat through the Australian Sheep Dog show.

“Pony is so lazy,” Veronica noted as they watched the sheep dogs herd the sheep.

“Hey, no bad talking my baby,” Logan defended as he leaned in and nibbled on her ice cream.

They then went in search of the platypus and Tasmanian devil and finally got back to the boat, slightly sunburned and giddy.

“You tired or you want to go for some dinner?” Logan asked as he untied the boat and started it up.

“Dinner please,” she grinned, her pink cheeks bright.

“Put on some more sunscreen,” he tossed her the tube, “I have a great spot for dinner.”

They worked their way back up the river and Logan docked at a marina. He reached in to his pocket and pulled out a set of car keys.

“We have a car too?” Veronica whispered.

“The boat won’t help us once we get to shore,” he shrugged and clicked the fob that beeped on a tiny little sports car in the lot.

Veronica had to walk around the car as she tried to get in on the wrong side and gave Logan a look that belied her concern about him driving on the opposite side of the road.

“I’ve got this,” he promised as he put the little sports car in gear and pulled out of the marina.

They drove a few minutes and he parallel parked on the side of the street. He walked her toward a big arena-like structure with open air and covered areas and lots and lots of food trucks and glorious food smells.

“Welcome, to Eat Street,” a young Australian man smiled.

“Thanks,” Logan smiled back.

There was a $3 cover to get in which Logan paid in Australian dollars and they moved their way up and down stall after stall of amazing food from all over the world.

“I can’t decide what I want,” Veronica lamented.

“I have plenty of cash, try whatever you want,” Logan chuckled.

Veronica worked her way through Taiwanese street food, authentic Mexican tacos, grilled fish on a stick and shockingly delicious pizza before she needed a break. They walked along rows of local artists and Veronica wanted to buy souvenirs for her dad and Matty but knew she couldn’t. She stopped at a table with gorgeous hand carved wooden figures. 

Logan reached over and plucked a tiny carved koala off and turned it to her, her eyes softened.

“We shouldn’t,” she whispered.

“There is nothing that indicates it was made here, you could have bought it at the San Diego Zoo,” he murmured in her ear and handed over the $15 to the artist.

Veronica tucked it in her pocket with a grin. They then headed over for Thai noodles and soft serve ice cream and honeycomb. By the time they got through all the food Veronica wanted to try it was nearly 9:00 pm and with the long ride back out to Tangalooma, Logan made a decision. He excused himself to make a quick call and then he walked them back to the car.

Instead of heading back to the marina though he drove over the bridge to the central business district and valeted the car in front of the Marriott.

“Just for tonight,” he winked.

“We don’t have any luggage,” she grinned.

“It’s one night,” he shrugged.

Logan checked them in and they headed up in the elevator. The room was glorious, with a huge king sized bed a deep soaking tub and a nice glass shower.

“I don’t know what I want first,” Veronica lamented as she looked at the luxury around them.

“Bath, shower, bed,” Logan said definitively.

“I can live with that,” she laughed.

Their room came with a chilled bottle of sparkling Australian wine and big fluffy bathrobes, so Logan set off in prepping that while Veronica drew the bath. He joined her as the bathroom filled with steam and the light scent of citrus from the bubble bath she added.

“Today was really fun,” she said as she stripped off her clothes and tied her hair up on top of her head in a twist.

“Oh baby,” Logan leered, “the fun is just starting.”

She laughed at his ridiculous eyebrow waggle and slipped in to the hot water. He handed her a glass of wine and placed his on the floor before joining her.

The water felt great on their tired bodies.

“Today felt so normal,” she said, “like we were a regular married couple on vacation.”

“When have you ever wanted to be typical,” Logan said sincerely.

“I wasn’t quite aiming for this abnormal,” she countered.

“Someday, Veronica. I promise you all kinds of normal and boring and you’ll think I am Logan without the Logan again,” he said only slightly sarcastically.

“Hey, I apologized for that. I was a bitch last year and I have given myself plenty of grief over it since the wedding. The wedding, fuck, what day is it?” she turned to him with wide eyes.

“Happy anniversary, Veronica,” he smiled and she launched herself at him, lips attaching to lips.

“Is it today?” she said as she leaned back.

“A couple hours from now to be exact,” he looked at his watch.

“I’ve really lost track of time,” she rolled her eyes.

“I know this hasn’t been the first year of marriage anyone would want, but I love you as much today as I did when we said our vows, more even. You have been incredible, understanding and patient, so loving when we have had the chance to be together and so present,” he said, brushing the strands of hair that had escaped her sloppy twist and curled in the humidity of the bath.

“I love you so much Logan. I love this you and 12 year old you and 17 year old you and 19 year old you and future 80 year old you,” she kissed him with each age she listed off. “I love the person you were and the person you became and the person who constantly surprises me with your ability to evolve.”

“I love you too, Veronica, every version of you that I have ever known.”

She turned in the tub to rest her head on his chest as he stroked her back.

“I want you to come home,” she admitted.

“Trust me, no one wants that more than me,” he kissed the top of her head.

TBC…


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> All good things must come to an end and Veronica has to head home from Australia, alone. Or is she?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all who have read and/or reviewed, I so appreciate the support on this story. I can see the end of this story though, 3 more chapters after this one to wrap it all up.

Thanks to the cover that Mac had provided her, Veronica was under no real timetable in Australia. Unlike other visits with Logan that would lead her father to be suspicious of her absence, this one was easy to explain. She skyped with her dad a couple of times and the Navy was paying MI under the auspice of Mac’s cover company.

Veronica did feel slightly guilty, she was ostensibly on the longest vacation of her life. She and Logan had left Brisbane after 2 weeks and headed to Sydney where she was currently lounging in bed as the sun rose over Circular Quay. Even after 22 days she was still not quite on the right time zone. It didn’t help that she and Logan spent many many long hours together under the covers at all times of day.

Sydney was as spectacular as Brisbane, the Opera House more stunning in person than any picture could do it justice. They had gone to Manly so Logan could surf and had then wandered up to the secluded Shelley Bay so Veronica could float around in the ocean without the serious waves of the main beaches. They ate fried fish on Bondi and every night Veronica dragged Logan on to another sunset cruise of the Harbor.

As she smiled at the memories of their 3 weeks together, she heard a ringing sound, it was not a ringtone she knew and as she felt Logan shift and get off the bed her stomach dropped, this is the end of paradise, she thought.

Veronica feigned sleep in hopes that if he didn’t actually say the words they wouldn’t be true, but Logan had taken the cell phone from a pocket in his bag and gone behind the closed bathroom door. It didn’t take a PI to figure it out, he was being called back.

The 3 weeks together had definitely done Logan some good, he seemed to have gained a little weight, his new scars were healed over completely and he seemed very much OK emotionally. That didn’t mean Veronica was ready to let him go back to whatever dangerous assignment he gave up his whole life for.

Just when she was convinced she could go back to sleep her eyes popped open, dread filled her body at the thought that he might already have left. Maybe he was so stealth that he slipped out without her noticing. She sat up suddenly, clutching the fluffy white duvet to her naked body.

“Logan?’ she asked the empty bedroom of their modest suite.

Nothing.

She looked to his pillow, expecting a scribbled note in his unusually elegant scrawl, but it was just a pillow, still indented where his head was a few minutes before.

“Logan?” she stood up now, revealing her body to the first soft light of day.

Nothing.

She went to the closet, his clothes were still there, his Navy duffel in place. So, she approached the bathroom and just as she was about to knock, he slid the pocket door open and regarded her with wide eyes.

“Hey,” his eyes shifted, taking in her naked body, but not coming back up to meet hers.

“Hey,” she replied and finally coaxed his eyes up to hers with a hand on his chin.

“Duty calls,” he flashed the phone in his hand.

“When?” the word hurt, it sounded guttural and sore.

“Tomorrow, 22:00 hours a car will get me,” is all he said.

“OK,” she nodded, it was more than she could hope for, almost 2 whole days.

He leaned down to kiss her and she obliged the kiss, but as he went to walk her back towards the bed she pushed back.

“Now that I am here,” she wrinkled her nose and tilted her chin towards the bathroom.

“Oh, yeah,” he smiled and got out of her way.  
***555***

The two days passed in a blur of skin and room service. While Sydney offered a lot to see and do, Veronica wanted to catalog every spec of her husband for however long she would have to wait to see him again.

Logan suggested she take advantage of being in Australia, go on to Melbourne or Adelaide or Cairns. She couldn’t though, Australia was theirs now, together.

“I should get home,” she said sadly as she kissed along his collar bone.

“I am sure Pony misses you,” he agreed.

“Are you kidding? He is living the highlife with Poppa Mars,” she snorted.

Logan laughed and rolled her under him to provide better access to the kissable areas he sought.

And so it went for 2 days until with 2 hours before the car was set to pick up Logan, they ate dinner in their bathrobes, Veronica drinking all the wine as Logan was soon to be on duty.

“When is this over?’ she asked for not the first time in the past year.

“I don’t know. I don’t want to get your hopes up, but I don’t want to keep things from you either. IT could be soon,” he reiterated what he said at the beginning of this trip, that his work was paying off.

Veronica just nodded and picked at her pasta, unusually uninterested in the dish. When Logan had eaten all his food he stood and headed for a shower, Veronica trailing right behind him.

“I hate being this clingy,” she pouted.

“Not clingy, loving,” he smoothed her hair back, it was a tangled mess, and kissed her forehead.

“Lovingly clingy,” she corrected with a grin.

“One more shower?” he arched a brow as he walked them towards the large glass shower stall.

Veronica didn’t answer, but she joined him. She was literally clinging to him, her arms and legs wrapped tightly around him, their wet bodies still able to maneuver despite her clutching him so tightly.

Logan knew he had time so he carried her, soaking wet, back to the bed and laid out the bathrobe to try to keep the bed slightly dry and kissed a path from her lips to her throat to her breasts and he didn’t stop until her back arched and her toes curled.

“Your turn,” she whispered when she got her voice back.

“I just want,” his own voice was husky with desire and sadness. “I just want to be inside you.”

He kissed his way back up her body and joined their bodies together. He was going to flip them over so Veronica could have some control, but she stilled him.

“You, there. I want to feel you, everywhere,” she tried to explain.

He smiled and slid his legs against her legs, his large hands under her body and along her back, his cheek nuzzled hers as he moved, and she couldn’t stop the tears. At some point a few of his own mixed on her cheek and she swiped at them, mad at herself for not being happy in the moment.

“I worry,” she murmured between tender kisses, “every time we part, I worry this is the last time I will see you.”

Logan wanted to protest, to assure her they would see each other again, but he knew she understood the risks and lying to comfort her was no comfort at all.

“I know, me too,” he said as he held her tightly.

***555***

The trip home to California was shorter in duration, but somehow worse for jetlag. Veronica had to soldier on though, as she couldn’t explain that the simple cross-country trip from Miami had resulted in such utter exhaustion.

Keith was happy to have her home, though reluctant to give her back her dog.

“Just one more night, Pony’s already picked out dinner tonight,” Keith grinned into the phone when Veronica called to say she had gotten home safely.

“OK, fine. I have laundry and groceries to do anyway, but I am expecting my dog back tomorrow, Old Man.”

“How about I bring the dog and some lasagna, and we can catch up? It’s been a while.”

“That sounds perfect,” Veronica hung up and tried to figure out how to stay awake all day when all she wanted to do was sleep.

Despite her complete exhaustion when she tumbled into bed at 8 pm that night, certain she could sleep for days, she woke up at 3:00 am and could not get back to sleep. She wore her jetlag on her face and told her dad some story about staying out late with Mac the night before she came home.

“Apparently I cannot party like it is 1999 anymore,” she grinned.

“You were 10 in 1999,” Keith smirked.

“And I could stay up late without looking like the walking dead,” Veronica countered and added some more lasagna to her plate.

The jetlag did not let up all week. Pony was totally confused by his human being up watching TV at 3 in the morning, but he appreciated getting fed a little earlier than normal.

Finally, when she thought she would never get 8 hours of sleep in a row, she managed to sleep from 8 pm to 4 am, not ideal, but still better. Her body hurt too, her legs had been sore for days after the long flight and her stomach was constantly confused, it wanted dinner when the sun came up and pancakes, well, who was she kidding, she always wanted pancakes.

Just when she was considering digging out the flour and the baking powder to make some pancakes, her phone rang. Seeing her BFF’s name on the screen she smiled.

“Hey, buddy,” she answered.

“Hey, V, long time sister,” Wallace replied.

“I know, I was hanging in Miami with Mac,” Veronica lied with ease.

“I heard. I saw your dad on the… you know…” Wallace stopped unsure of the waters he was treading.

Keith had told her that Wallace came by his place on the anniversary of Logan’s “death” and the two of them had a drink in his memory. In her fragile, jetlagged state, she shed real tears at the story and her dad cringed.

“Dad told me, Wallace, that was really sweet. Mac took me out that night, I was OK,” Veronica lied more, what did it matter at this point.

“You know I was not always Logan’s biggest fan.”

“Well, you met him at his worst,” Veronica countered.

“He was a good man, Veronica, a great man.”

“Yeah,” Veronica’s voice thickened with yet more tears.

“I don’t want to make you sad, V, I just want you to know that we all loved him. I know a lot of the time you were together in the old days, you felt you had to compartmentalize, but you don’t. IF you need to talk about Logan, I’m here,” Wallace said bravely.

“Thanks, Wallace, you have no idea how much that means to me.”

Wallace then filled her in on Noah and Shae and his basketball team. Veronica listened with as much attention as her exhausted mind could muster.

A week after her return, Veronica got a message from Logan, just a status check that everything was fine, nothing cute or endearing, but certainly better than nothing. On her way home from the library she stopped at the grocery store for something for dinner, unable to consider cooking anything she opted for a frozen dinner she could nuke and eat.

She also grabbed a few other items for the house and a sack of food for Pony.

Veronica tossed the frozen meal in the microwave as she put the other things away, when the timer dinged its conclusion, she grabbed a fork and peeled back the plastic lid. The heavily garlicy dish assaulted her and her stomach instantly revolted, sending her straight to the bathroom.

“Oooof,” she sighed as she sat back from the toilet, thinking that was a week in the making, her body still not quite right from the journey home.

Once she took a few deep breaths and brushed her teeth, Veronica felt better, tossing the offensive frozen dinner and scrambling a couple eggs instead. She managed to stay awake until 9:00 pm that night.

The next time the nausea hit her she was with Matty on a stake out, it came out of nowhere and she had to get out of the car and find some shrubs fast.

“You OK?” Matty asked when Veronica returned, took a swig of water and spit it on the ground beside the car.

“Yeah, my breakfast clearly did not agree with me. Rule number one of stakeouts, do not call attention to yourself,” she frowned and slipped back behind the wheel of the car.

It was after the 3rd time that Veronica began to worry something was wrong. She could count on one hand the number of stomach bugs she had had in her life and this was 3 separate instances of nausea and vomiting with no other symptoms other than the ever-present exhaustion since Australia.

The panic sunk in instantly, is it possible, could she be pregnant? The answer to that was clearly yes, as she had had a considerable amount of sex just weeks ago. She had taken her birth control though, of course getting to Australia was like 2 days long and she might not have remembered to take it for a couple days right at the beginning, but she had skipped pills before… oh God, she realized, she was probably pregnant.

Veronica swallowed down more nausea, likely more stress-related than anything, and wondered what she should do. She was about to panic and call Mac on the civilian line she kept but figured her first step had to be to get all the facts.

She couldn’t go to the pharmacy down the street, the one where the cashiers know her and Logan and always ask after Pony. So, she took the dog on a little ride 2 towns over and pulled into a Walgreens. She bought 4 different tests, desperate times and all. She also bought a big bag of M&M’s and an Us Weekly.

She drank a giant bottle of water and waited and when she had to pee desperately she took all 4 tests, then proceeded to eat half the bag of M&Ms waiting for the timer to go off.

Veronica stood in the bathroom staring down at 4 positive pregnancy tests. Suddenly she saw drops of water on the vanity and realized she was crying. This was simultaneously the best and worst possible news.

“Well what the fuck do I do now,” she said out loud and the dog came padding down the hall. He had really become her sounding board and seemed uber-attentive to her, protective.

“It’s OK, buddy, you are going to be a big brother,” she laughed, slightly maniacally.

***555***

Veronica did nothing for 4 days, she went to work, she checked in on Logan with no results and other than that she laid in bed and thought about a baby. It was true that Veronica was never really the maternal type, the idea of kids was crazy with her life and Logan’s, but she saw it in his eyes when he played with Noah.

She didn’t want to admit it then, it made her crazy angry how easy everything seemed for Logan. Logan who had had a much worse life than she had and somehow had turned in to this happy functional human with the right emotions at the right times.

Now though, after this year of clandestine meetings and private secret conversations in exotic locales, she could see it. She could see a little family. Maybe just this one kid, this one miracle kid they made in Australia, hopefully in that tiny hut on that magical island in the turquoise blue sea.

She had 3 choices it seemed: run away and have this baby alone, which would require a clever cover story and was inhumanely cruel to her father who already lost his son-in-law; lie and say she was artificially inseminated or had a random one night stand – either of those were even more out-of-character than she had been lately; tell her dad and Wallace the truth and eventually Dick if he came back from Europe. She couldn’t do that last one without some authorization.

Veronica dug out the burner phone Clarence had given her when Logan was off the grid. She had no idea if the line was still active or if Clarence would answer, but sure enough he did.

“Veronica?”

“Yeah, can we meet?” she asked nervously.

“Tomorrow. 14:00. The truck stop at Exit 133,” he said and hung up.

“That guy sure does have the gift of gab,” Veronica said to Pony as she gave him a good long head scratch.

Veronica saw Clarence as soon as she entered the truck stop diner. A waitress approached and Veronica smiled and pointed that she knew where she was going. She slid into the booth and the waitress appeared with water and a menu.

“Do you have pie?” Veronica asked, Clarence just had coffee.

“Apple, blueberry, peach or banana cream?” the older woman smiled.

“Blueberry. And peach,” she decided and indicated Clarence as if she was planning to share.

“Ice cream?” the waitress jotted down the order.

“Yes. Both. Ice cream,” Veronica felt like she had just learned how to speak English, her nerves manifesting in ravenous hunger and the inability to speak.

“Coming right up,” the waitress smiled, retrieved the unused menu and left.

“I’m pregnant,” Veronica whispered harshly, like ripping off a band aid.

Clarence sighed.

“I know. I know,” she hung her head.

“I don’t suppose you would consider….”

“Do not even say it,” she said harshly, but quietly, “I think I have given up quite enough in all of this,” her eyes were blazing.

“Yeah,” Clarence sighed again.

The pie appeared suddenly, and Veronica arranged both pieces in front of herself.

“I thought the peach one was for me?” Clarence grinned; he was kind of handsome when he smiled.

Veronica gave him a look and he chuckled.

“Note to self, do not get between the pregnant lady and her pie,” he held his hands up in surrender as she forked a large bite into her mouth.

Veronica smiled as she swallowed, she liked being referred to as the pregnant lady.

“I have no official word, but the talk around the water cooler is that he is almost done,” Clarence said softly.

“He indicated that might be the case when I saw him,” Veronica nodded, perking up at the idea.

“We won’t know how clean an exit he can make though until he is done. He may get out but still have to stay dark.”

“What do you mean?” Veronica was alarmed.

“His mission may end, but the target might still be in play. He can’t just show up on CCTV somewhere, these types of people have eyes everywhere. The only way he gets to come home is if we capture the target or the target ends up in the ground and even then, there may be too many eyes on him,” Clarence explained.

Veronica had watched a lot of spy movies, but this was her life and the intrigue was wearing thin.

“If he isn’t home and cleared for re-entry into society in 2 months, 3 tops we are going to have to do something. Either I have to go away or I have to read my father and Wallace Fennel in, everyone else I can lie to, but not them, not anymore,” Veronica was bold now that she was full of pie.

“Leave this with me for now,” Clarence reached out and put a hand on hers in a rare gesture of comfort.

“Please don’t tell him. I don’t want him to worry or lose focus,” Veronica was afraid she was going to cry again.

“I won’t, it would not help the situation in any way,” Clarence agreed, and she nodded.

“I will make some calls, I have a few friends higher up the chain of command than my usual sources, I will get you some information soon.”

The waitress came back and noticed both empty plates in front of Veronica and smiled at the petite woman.

“Can I get you anything else, hun?”

“No, I am stuffed, thank you,” she patted her stomach, hoping that little embryo in there liked pie.

TBC…


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Knocked up and alone was not how Veronica imagined herself, but things might be looking up for our couple.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks so much to everyone who is still reading and reviewing. I am planning to do NaNoWriMo this year, so I am trying very hard to wrap this story up in the next two weeks. There is 1 more chapter and an Epilogue to go!

Knocked up and alone was not exactly every girl’s dream, but Veronica had to admit that keeping her baby a secret and having some time alone to process the latest development in her ever-interesting life wasn’t the worst thing.

She kept her life on track, worked her cases – although lately the riskier cases seemed to lose their appeal. Her dad didn’t say anything and surely he thought that losing her husband to a mad bomber was reason enough to pull back from the more dangerous assignments. He wasn’t going to argue if his sometimes-reckless daughter was playing things a little safer these days.

She kept up appearances with Wallace and Shae, trying not to show an unusual amount of interest in Noah these days.

Other than that, she spent a lot of time curled up in her bed. A bed that Logan had never slept in. A bed that she bought when she moved into the new house, unable to move the bed that had been covered with shattered glass in the worst moment of Veronica’s life.

That was another thing Veronica realized, every bad thing that happened in her life would not have even come close to losing Logan. It would have been the worst moment of her life and for the few brief moments she thought it was true she knew nothing had ever hurt more than thinking the man she loved was dead.

So tonight, she curled up in bed, Pony at the foot snoring, and placed her hands on the soft cotton of her tee shirt over her baby and wondered about the little creature growing inside her body.

“Do you have funny ears like your daddy?” she whispered.

“Are you going to be tall like him or short like me?”

“Do you know how much we are going to love you?”

“Could you stop making me puke?”

She laughed a little at that last one, the morning sickness wasn’t awful, but it was a lot more vomiting than she was used to.

Veronica made lists in her head: baby things she needed to research and buy; appointments she couldn’t really record normally that she had to remember; names that make her smile like Luke or Adelaide.

Pony was more affectionate than normal. She had read an article about dogs that could sniff out disease, could he smell the baby? Veronica took advantage of doggy snuggles though.

On the first day of her 2nd trimester, just as she was starting to think Clarence had forgotten all about her pregnancy, Veronica went across the street to get tea and a scone. The scone was in a bag with some waxed paper and if she had not been paying perfect attention, she would have missed the tiny extra scrap of paper, translucent in spots from the butter of the scone, it had one word on it – soon.

***555***  
“Are you OK?” Wallace asked as he helped himself to some more potato salad.

Keith had everyone over for the 4th of July and the Southern California heat was in full force, making Veronica a little green.

“Just hot,” she sighed.

“Have you seen a doctor lately?” he arched an eyebrow.

“Huh? Why?”

“You have not been yourself, V, rundown and tired a lot, paler than your usual shade of translucent,” he seemed worried and Veronica wondered when her BFF became so observant.

“I’m fine, working too much probably…”

“I made it,” Shae interrupted, Noah in one arm and bakery bags in the other.

“Why don’t I take him?” Veronica offered to take the baby since Wallace had a plate of food and Shae was clearly overburdened.

“A choice of a baby and bags from Lucille’s Bakery and you pick the baby? Now I know something is wrong with you,” Wallace laughed, and Veronica blanched for a second.

“If I take those bags no one else will get any of those tiny chocolate cherry cheesecakes that I know Shae bought because she knows they are my favorite,” Veronica grinned.

“I got an extra dozen just for you. I’ll stash this stuff in the fridge,” she smiled as she handed Noah to Veronica.

The baby had clearly just woken up from a nap in the car and he snuggled into Veronica’s shoulder, his warm soft baby body a delightful weight in her arms.

“Hey buddy,” she whispered against his hair as she walked around the yard.

“Is that my daughter holding a baby?” Keith approached the food table in his Kiss the Cook apron and a tray of fresh burgers.

“Yep,” Wallace nodded.

“She lost…she lost a lot,” Keith said his voice thick suddenly.

“Yeah,” Wallace nodded again.

Later that evening, full of good food and offering comfort to her firework-rattled dog, Veronica flipped through the channels on her TV. Something on CNN caught her eye and she stopped to watch.

Footage of armed forces storming a compound was described by Wolf Blitzer: “One of the largest ISIS training compounds was raided by US Forces today. Rodolfo Gutierrez and his cohorts were rounded up and taken into custody. This is a big big win in the war on terror.”

The screen changed and Wolf was joined by Anderson Cooper.

“This may be the biggest win for the US since Bin Laden,” Cooper added, “and our sources tell us this was not a random raid, that this was a long time coming, a deep operation by our Intelligence community.”

Veronica smiled widely, had Logan finished his mission. Had her husband saved the free world?

***555***  
At 15 weeks pregnant, Veronica couldn’t wear jeans or tucked in blouses anymore. She had a small but noticeable bump. It brought both laughter and tears. Luckily summer came with lots of flowy tops and sundresses and she managed to alter her wardrobe well enough. Although a good breeze would blow that flowy fabric around the bump and her secret would be less secret.

She had an appointment with her OB that afternoon, so she left work around 2:00 with some papers to file at the courthouse as her cover.

“Have a good night, honey,” Keith called as she left.

“You too,” she smiled as she left.

The appointment went well, her ultrasound was good, and she had fresh new pictures of her baby in her purse as she walked into the house. As soon as she stepped through the front door though she knew something was different.

“Hello?” she said quietly, unlatching her purse that held her gun.

“Hello, Veronica,” Logan came out of the kitchen.

“Oh my God, you’re here. How did you get in?” she asked the stupidest possible question in the moment.

“Your security passcodes are really easy if anyone knew you as well as I do,” he smirked, “a more important question is what exactly are these?”

In Logan’s long slender fingers were the other ultrasound pictures, the ones Veronica had stashed in their gun safe with her weapon, the only place in the house her father could not possibly find them.

“Surprise!” Veronica smiled weakly.

***555***  
Keith was wrapping up his work for the day when the phone rang, he almost let it go to voicemail, but he answered on the 3rd ring.

“Mars Investigations.”

“Is Veronica Mars available?”

“I’m sorry, she has left for the day, can I take a message?”

“This is Miriam from Baby’s Best. I wanted to get ahold of her as soon as possible, the custom crib she ordered is not going to be ready before her due date and I know she also ordered a cradle and wanted to make sure she would be OK with getting the crib a little later than expected?” the woman babbled and Keith froze.

“I think you have the wrong Veronica Mars,” he finally uttered wondering how many Veronica Marses there were out there.

“Really? I have this as her work number, I can try the cell number I have, thanks,” and the woman was gone.

Keith sat, dumbstruck in his chair, was his daughter having a baby?

***555***  
“You’re pregnant?” Logan grinned, just his little grin, the secret one that she loved so much.

“Yeah,” she nodded with her own little grin in place. “Got a new pic today,” she pulled out the latest ultrasound and moved across the room to stand right in front of him.

“You’re really here?” she asked in a whisper and reached out tentatively to touch his cheek.

“I am,” he turned his head and kissed her palm.

“Is it…over? I saw on the news…”

“It is done,” he nodded, her hand still on his face.

“Clarence said you might still have to stay…dead,” she choked a bit on the last word.

“The Navy is sorting that now, coming up with the story, I’ve been in a coma by the way. That will make this a little tough to explain,” he ran his fingers along the edge of her baby bump, “Does anyone know?”

“Clarence,” she admitted.

“Good, they will work it out. I will have to lay low for a few days…”

“Veronica?” Keith unlocked the door and stepped into the living room his mind racing with the possibilities of how his daughter became pregnant when the answer hit him head on.

“Logan?” he blanched.

“So much for laying low,” Veronica grimaced and turned to face her dad.

“Come in, close the door,” Veronica approached her dad.

“What the hell is going on?” Keith flinched as Veronica took his arm. “Logan?” he said again.

“Hi Keith,” Logan crossed his arms across his body and smiled at the man.

“Are you pregnant?” Keith asked Veronica.

“Yes,” she confirmed, this was turning out to be a great day for secrets.

“And Logan is alive?” Keith stated the obvious.

“Yes,” Veronica indicated they should all sit down.

Keith took an armchair and Veronica and Logan stat close together on the orange couch.

“I have been on a deep cover op for the past 18 months,” Logan said simply.

“And you knew?” Keith did not seem angry, although still slightly confused.

“Yes, I was unable to say anything for Logan’s safety and you know, national security,” she said the last bit like it was totally ridiculous and Logan chuckled.

Keith just nodded.

“A baby?” Keith mentioned again.

Logan quickly handed over the ultrasound photos.

“It’s Logan’s baby, we’ve seen each other a couple times,” Veronica explained.

“Wow,” Keith’s eyes filled with tears as he looked at the little blob that would be his grandchild.

“It’s a girl,” Veronica said quietly and both men looked at her, “I just found out today. How’d you know, Dad?”

“The furniture store called you at the office, your crib won’t be ready in time or something,” he waved a hand around to indicate that really was the last thing they had to talk about.

“Well that sucks,” Veronica frowned, “I ordered a cradle though, she can sleep in that for a few months.”

Both men looked at her funny.

“I’ve had a couple months to think about this,” she rested her hand on the very small bump.

Logan finally leaned closer and kissed her, he hadn’t had a chance before Keith arrived and he couldn’t possibly wait one more minute. It was a brief but intense kiss that Veronica felt all the way down to her toes. He touched his forehead to hers and then turned quickly back to Keith.

“The Navy is going to craft a story about where I have been. It is a little trickier than normal since I am, for better or worse, pretty well-known. We could relocate and I could be Logan Evans or something, but I wouldn’t take Veronica away from you and now, well, this is our home, all of us,” Logan explained to Keith.

“When did this happen?” Keith waved the ultrasounds around.

Veronica panicked for a bit, not wanting to out Mac.

“When I was working with Mac, I actually finished a week earlier and I went to see Logan,” she lied and it hurt a little, but she had not had enough time to discuss all the details with Logan.

Logan just squeezed her hand to indicate she did well.

Keith for his part just nodded.

“Phoenix? Christmas?” he asked, and Veronica nodded quickly.

“Wow,” was all Keith could say.

“I am very sorry…” Logan began.

“No, no,” Keith shook his head, “you don’t have to apologize. I am just so incredibly happy,” Keith finally smiled, “so happy you are here.”

Veronica leaned into Logan’s side, knowing kind words from her dad was his kryptonite.

“Thanks,” he mumbled around the emotion in his throat.

“I should go,” Keith stood, and Logan and Veronica did too, “call the baby place,” he reminded Veronica and she smiled.

“I will,” she assured him.

“Welcome home,” Keith said, and he launched himself at Logan, hugging the man tightly.

Logan froze momentarily and then returned the hug.

“I’m really glad to be home.”

“I think it goes without saying that this is still top secret,” Veronica instructed her father as he stepped back and moved to leave.

“Yeah yeah, of course, you let me know when I can know what I know. You know?” he grinned.

“We will,” Veronica hugged her dad.

“Congratulations, Veronica. On everything,” he squeezed her extra tight and left.

Veronica closed the door and locked it, keeping her back to Logan, gathering herself a bit. When she turned, he was closer than she expected and so it took her very little to fall into his arms, to feel him hold her, to nestle against him as one of his hands skimmed her side and settled on the bump.

“We’re having a baby,” he said reverently.

“A baby who is apparently not going to have a crib,” she snorted.

“I’m home now, I’ll help you, with everything,” he promised.

“How long have you been here?” she looked up suddenly.

“I got here about an hour before you came in. I played with Pony and I gave myself a tour and it was when I stowed my weapon in the safe that I came across the ultrasounds and I have been kind of in shock since.”

“I asked Clarence not to tell you, I didn’t want you to be distracted in the field.”

“I understand, Veronica. I’m not mad, a little sad that I missed the beginning, but I am here now.”

“So, you looked around. Did you check out the bedroom?” she tilted her head towards the hall.

“I took a peek, but I thought I would let you give me the grand tour,” he smiled.

“Right this way,” she took his hand and led him to their new bedroom.

The room was bigger than the apartment, a warm shade of green that Veronica found soothing. The bed was big and soft with all white linens and a throw at the end that Pony was stretched across.

“Seems you tired him out,” Veronica laughed as she roused the dog and whistled him down off the bed.

“Are you tired?” she asked as she turned down the comforter.

“No,” he grinned and watched as she plumped the pillows.

“Hungry?”

“I ate some of the left-over pasta in the fridge,” he admitted.

“That was my dinner,” she replied in mock horror.

“I’ll make you a frittata,” he moved to her side.

“I did miss your frittatas. Mine are always burned on the bottom and raw in the middle.”

“You aren’t patient enough,” he chided.

“True in many ways,” she agreed as she leaned up to capture his mouth.

This kiss was delicious and languid, like they had, as they did, all the time in the world.

“I want to see you,” he whispered against her ear and she shivered.

She pushed him playfully on the bed and stepped back. She toed off her sandals and then pulled the sundress up over her head leaving her in her underwear, her breasts challenging the confines of her bra and their baby just starting to show herself from her previously flat stomach.

“Jesus, Veronica, you’re gorgeous,” he licked his lips as he looked from her stomach to her face and back and forth until she blushed at his scrutiny and covered her face.

“Come here,” he reached out to her and pulled her in to the bed with him.

“I love you,” she said before she kissed him.

TBC…


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Logan is home, now what?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Like Logan, I have not actually been dead these past few months, just really really busy with work. I appreciate those of you who reached out to see if I was still on the planet and I am so sorry for making you wait. I am determined to get this story finished, so here is the penultimate chapter. I hope you enjoy it.

“Your frittata, Ma’am,” Logan appeared in the golden light of the bedroom, the sun setting outside the windows now, with a tray full of food and no shirt on.

“Mmmmmm, you look delicious,” Veronica murmured as she shimmied her way up to a sitting position.

“I think you mean dinner looks delicious,” he grinned.

“That too,” she leaned over to examine the tray, it had a lot of vegetables on it.

“I fed the dog too,” he said as he crawled back into bed with her and arranged the tray carefully.

“Thanks,” she kissed his cheek and dug into the food.

” So, what were you going to do if I didn’t get home for a while? You are starting to look pregnant,” he smiled broadly.

“I left it all to Clarence, but I was going to read in my dad and Wallace and then I figured Clarence would have a plan. Go work with Mac again for an extended period or something. I couldn’t lie to my dad about this though, I couldn’t run away.”

“I’m glad he knows, it was a big worry for me, how he would react.”

“How can he be anything but happy you are alive?”

“I’m sure there were times in my life he wished I wasn’t,” Logan cringed.

“Never,” Veronica blanched, “he may have wanted you 20,000 miles away, but he never wanted you dead.”

“Yeah,” Logan nodded and picked at the food.

“And that is all bygones now, my dad loves you Logan. He was really sad you were gone, not just for me, but you guys have bonded.”

“Aaron was so toxic; I never had a good relationship with a man in a position of power until the military and I met a lot of men who I looked up to and respected. I always respected your dad, even when I acted like I didn’t.”

Veronica just kept eating, letting him talk.

“I was jealous, you know, that you had one decent parent while both of mine failed in dramatically different ways.”

“And I was so mad about my own mom that I never gave you enough credit for how you handled your own situation,” Veronica admitted.

“I didn’t always handle it well,” Logan grimaced.

“You were a kid, even if we felt like we were so grown up back then, we were kids. I look at Matty now and realize that we knew nothing about how to handle even one of the multitude of things we dealt with back then. I mean…” Veronica trailed off.

She put her fork down and Logan worried.

“What?” he finally prodded her when she stayed quiet.

“I don’t think I have dealt with it.”

“Oh, V,” Logan pulled her to his side, sending the tray shaking.

“I need help,” she whispered.

“OK,” was all he could say as he kissed the crown of her head.

***555***

Veronica and Logan stayed home for 2 days, mostly in bed, but also online ordering more things for the baby and catching Logan up on life in America while he’s been away.

On the third day there was a knock at the door.

“Is it your dad?” Logan asked he kissed his way up Veronica’s thigh.

“He said he would text first,” Veronica looked concerned.

“I can’t get it,” Logan grinned.

“Maybe they’ll go away,” Veronica grinned back and indicated Logan should get back to the kissing.

A minute later the knock was on their bedroom door.

The playful look on Logan’s face was replaced by sheer terror.

“Get in the bathroom, lock the door,” he instructed.

“No,” Veronica scrambled out of the bed and pulled his tee shirt over her naked body.

“Yes, I’ve got this,” Logan whipped the sheet off the bed and wrapped it around his waist.

“You’re unarmed,” she hissed.

“I don’t need a weapon, also, if they were bursting in with guns, they would’ve done that already,” he noted as they faced off flushed and mussed.

Logan moved to the door, grabbing a bottle of perfume from the top of the dresser on the way. He cracked the bedroom door open, waving Veronica out of the sightline of the hallway.

As he turned to the person at the door, he huffed out a laugh.

“CW,” he nodded.

“Echolls. Put some clothes on, I’ll make coffee.”

Logan turned back to his wife to find her slumping against the wall.

“You OK?”

“That was unnecessarily scary,” she frowned, “does the man not have a phone?”

“I tried the front door, you didn’t answer,” Clarence called from the hallway.

Veronica rolled her eyes.

“I’m going to get dressed, you guys catch up,” Veronica kissed Logan’s stubbled jaw and headed to the bathroom.

Logan threw on a pair of sweatpants and a fresh tee shirt and found Clarence sitting at the counter in the kitchen and coffee perking in the maker.

“Sorry to interrupt,” the older man looked up with a face that indicated he wasn’t particularly sorry.

“I assume there is news,” Logan raised an eyebrow.

“The mission is complete, the clean-up teams feel they have collected all the targets and the intel, it is even more than we could’ve hoped for really,” Clarence smiled.

“I’m glad,” Logan leaned back against the counter.

“You did amazing work, there is a commendation coming your way.”

“I just want to be home for a while,” Logan brushed off the compliment and turned as Veronica shuffled into the kitchen, freshly scrubbed face and clean clothes in place.

“Mrs. Echolls,” Clarence smirked.

“Mr. Weidman,” she returned.

“I was just telling your husband it is all officially over.”

Veronica nodded.

“How do I come back from the dead?” Logan asked causally, as if it was a normal question.

“Depends, how many people know you are dead?”

“It was in the newspaper, I am somewhat well-known around here.”

“I’m not worried about random people; how many people were told specifically that Logan was dead? Who was at the funeral?”

“My dad, Wallace Fennell, his wife Shae, Dick Casablancas, Logan’s friend Jane, his Aunt Naomi and all the Navy people. I also told my mother and stepbrother in Arizona, Logan’s sister and the girl who helps out at MI, Matty,” Veronica ticked off the list.

“I hate that Hunter knows,” Logan frowned.

“He’ll be OK,” Veronica also frowned thinking of all the awful truths Hunter has already had to understand.

“The Navy people are all up-to-speed. Can you get the rest of those people here at the same time?”

“I’m not sure where Dick is, but I can track him down. The rest, no problem,” Veronica shrugged.

“One of the reasons you were selected for this mission, for this job, was your lack of close personal connections,” Clarence began.

“And here I thought it was for my looks,” Logan huffed, and Veronica rolled her eyes.

“If you had a huge extended family it makes missions like these tricky, complicated in a way the intelligence world hates. While a lot of people know you, not enough of them actually know you and that makes you easy to disappear.”

“Yeah, it’s been a breeze,” Veronica groaned as she reached for a banana.

“I know the sacrifices you have both made, I do and trust me the US Government is grateful.”

“What happens after I am undead?” Logan poured the coffee.

“You have your choice. Take your time served and retire, take an analyst job or head back in the field,” Logan’s face twisted at that last one.

“You don’t have to decide today,” Clarence grinned and sipped his coffee.

***555***

“You sure you’re ready for this?” Veronica asked as she arranged some cheese and crackers on a plate.

Logan just nodded and plucked a grape from the bunch.

“We could still run away. I liked Australia,” she reached over and ran a hand along his side.

“I can’t do that to your dad or Wallace, even Dick, the poor guy has lost everyone.”

“I can’t believe I tracked him down in Mallorca. Or that he dropped everything to come when I asked.”

“Dick has always been trying to impress you, Veronica.”

“He does make an impression,” she winced.

Just then the doorbell rang.

“Go, it’ll be easier to do this all at once,” Veronica indicated Logan should go hide out in the bedroom, he kissed her softly and headed down the hall.

“Hey, V,” Wallace and Shae arrived sans Noah as requested, “what’s up?”

“Thanks for coming, just have a few things to tell everyone,” Veronica smiled and accepted the bottle of wine Shae handed over wishing desperately she could guzzle some of it.

“Everyone?”

“I’m expecting a few other guests,” Veronica said vaguely, “I have some food.”

Soon the room was filling up, Veronica trying to introduce everyone. She was shocked by how much Logan’s Aunt Naomi looked like Lynn, she had to apologize for staring. “I get it all the time,” she said kindly.

Finally, her Dad arrived with Lianne and Hunter and Veronica got everyone’s attention.

“I want to thank you all for coming on very short notice and with not much of an explanation. You are all here because you are the people closest to Logan and to me,” Veronica felt her voice waver and she realized everyone probably thought they were at a flash mob memorial service.

“I have some rather shocking news for you all, but I think it will be happy news,” she saw Shae’s eyes go to her stomach.

“OK, 2 pieces of news,” she smiled at Shae.

“Spill it Veronica, this is getting weird,” Wallace was bouncing on his toes.

“Yeah, I am the drama queen in this family,” Trina teased.

“Logan is not dead. He’s in the other room,” she rolled her eyes at her lack of subtlety.

A general murmur of confusion went around the room.

“You all know that Logan’s job is top secret, these past 15 months, Logan has been on a deep cover assignment,” Veronica saw tears in Jane’s eyes, Dick’s look of absolute joy, Wallace shaking his head with a smile, Trina had to sit down.

“Logan is here?” Hunter asked.

“Right here,” Logan announced himself from the hallway and entered to stares.

“Fuck,” Wallace said and then looked at Hunter with a sheepish grin.

“It’s OK, Wallace, this is pretty crazy,” the kid acknowledged.

“That it is, little man,” Logan approached his brother-in-law and gave him a hug.

“You are the only people who were specifically told that Logan died, there will be a small article in the paper that says Logan has been recovering from an accident for the past year, it’ll be buried pretty deep. Logan’s been so boring these past few years no one really looks for him in the papers,” Veronica teased as she leaned into his side and felt his arm wrap around her waist.

“And the other news?” Shae had not forgotten.

“And I’m pregnant,” Veronica rolled her eyes again.

“So, you knew the whole time, he was OK? You saw each other?” Wallace asked.

“Yes, but I could not tell anyone, even Dad only found out 2 days ago,” Veronica felt terrible.

“Of course,” Wallace appeased her guilt straight away, “I totally get it V, totally get it.”

Veronica wrapped her arms around her best friend and squeezed.

“There is food in the kitchen,” Logan said to break the emotional bubble in the room, and everyone started milling about, hugging the newly-returned hero and getting drinks and snacks.

Veronica had just finished showing the ultrasound pictures to her mother and Hunter when she felt a hand on her arm and turned to see Jane standing there.

“Excuse me a sec,” she smiled at her mom and followed Jane towards the door.

“Thank you for inviting me today, Veronica,” Jane said sincerely.

“Of course, you are very important to Logan,” Veronica smiled.

“He is a special man,” Jane smiled back.

“He is and I want to make sure that I am worthy of him,” Veronica started and then stopped. “I think I might be ready to come in and talk, we’ve been through a lot this past year and well, we are in for a whole lot more,” she patted her bump lovingly. “I know he wanted to do a joint session before all this happened, would that still be possible?”

“Of course, call my service and set it up,” Jane nodded.

“Also, I might want to see someone on my own, no offense, but not you,” Veronica winced.

“I wouldn’t take you,” Jane said with a grin. “I will text you some suggestions, I suggest giving them each a trial run, finding a therapist isn’t easy, you want the right fit.”

“You have clearly been the right fit for Logan, and I am very grateful he has you,” Veronica said and reached out, in an unusual show of affection to a near-stranger and hugged the woman.

There was still a crowd at the house at dinner time, so Logan ordered a bunch of Thai food and Shae ran out and got a cake, because really if any occasion called for cake, back-from-the-dead definitely did.

***555***

“Short of the day I finally accepted my mother’s death, this was the worst day of my life,” Logan sighed as he fell back on their bed dramatically. “I feel so bad lying to everyone all that time, making you lie to them, they love us.”

“Not even close for me,” Veronica shook her head in the negative as she slipped a soft nightgown over her naked body.

Logan frowned at the loss of nakedness and the statement.

“I’m sorry, of course, you have been through a lot worse,” he sat up, but Veronica stopped him as she approached the bed and placed a hand on his chest.

“The worst day of my life was the 60 seconds I thought you were actually dead,” she said.

“I won’t go back,” he said as he pulled her to him and hugged her tightly.

“I’m not asking that,” she shook now with a swirl of confused emotion.

“I can’t. I might not leave entirely, but I won’t go back in the field.”

“You sure?” Veronica pulled back enough to see his eyes, he rarely could hide from her scrutiny.

“If the Navy wants my brain, they will have to negotiate. Besides, once this baby is born, I am going to be a giant puddle of goo all the time, not very intimidating in a fire fight,” he smirked.

“I don’t think I will be able to handle you with a baby; the adorableness might be off the charts. Ever notice how quickly I jump you after seeing you play with Noah?”

“We had to pull off the road still in Wallace’s cul-de-sac one night,” he waggled his eyebrows.

“I might not survive this,” Veronica fanned herself.

“I am starting to think we can survive anything,” Logan kissed her.  
TBC…


	10. The End

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Was the destination worth the journey? Veronica thinks so.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, I finished it. I started this story to help myself (and hopefully others) deal with the horrors of S4. Thank you to everyone who reached out these past 6+ months. Even as a fix-it it was very difficult to write Veronica as we saw her this past season and it made it hard to work on this story at times. I am glad I finished it though and it won't be my last VM story.

Orion Protocol – Epilogue One Year After Logan’s Return

“Where’s Logan?” Keith asked as he waited for Veronica to sign some court documents they needed for a case.

Since Veronica gave birth 7 months ago, she worked mostly from home and was doing more legal consulting than PI work.

“He took Sydney running,” Veronica smiled as she handed the papers back.

“Sydney can’t walk yet,” Keith frowned.

“We have that jogging stroller thing,” she explained.

“We?”

“I used it once,” she defended.

Just as Keith was going to question that claim, the door opened, and Logan wheeled a sleeping Sydney in and parked her by the hall.

“One of us got 7 miles in, the other one got a nice nap,” Logan smiled as he pecked Veronica on the lips.

“What, no kiss for me?” Keith feigned disappointment.

“Maybe after I shower,” Logan winked.

“I’ve got her, go,” Veronica turned her cheeky husband towards the bedroom.

She wiped the sweat off her hands and unzipped the mesh cover of the jogging stroller.

“Hey baby girl,” she cooed as she pulled a sleeping baby out and on to her shoulder.

Sydney was getting big, crawling and engaged in a great way while still being content to be held. Veronica indulged in a few minutes of warm soft baby weight in her arms.

“You look good with a baby in your arms,” Keith grinned.

“I never thought this would be my life. When I was young, I was sure I didn’t want it, when I was in New York I figured I would be too busy to have it, but when Logan and I were back together…” she shrugged.

“I saw you holding Noah over a year ago, on 4th of July and my heart broke. I knew there was still time if you met someone else, but I didn’t think you would ever let yourself love someone who wasn’t Logan. I thought you had lost this chance.”

“I am very lucky,” Veronica smiled and headed down to the nursery.

By the time she returned from settling Sydney, Logan was back in the kitchen eating a banana and discussing his training.

“It’s Olympic distances, 40 K on the bike, 10 K run and 1 and a half K open ocean swim,” he told Keith who looked green at the thought.

“Can’t you do the swim in a pool with no sharks?” Veronica interjected.

“I swim in the ocean all the time,” he pointed the banana at her, “and surf, sharks are way more interested in surfers because we look like seals.”

“Not really winning your argument there,” Keith laughed.

“I mean, you retired from the Navy, I thought my days of wanting to wrap you in bubble wrap were over and now it is triathlon this and triathlon that,” Veronica made gabbing gestures with her hands.

“I love spending my days with you and Sydney, but I need challenges to focus on and this one seemed like it was right in my proverbial wheelhouse.”

“Yeah yeah, you bike for the environment, I already married you, you can stop showing off,” she pinched his side.

“You two are adorable, but I need to get these papers to the courthouse.”

“I’ll be in the office tomorrow,” Veronica reminded him.

“I shall dust off your desk,” Keith teased and was gone.

“Did you tell him?” Logan asked as he tossed the banana peel in the compost bin.

“No, I am still coming to terms with it,” she said as she laid a hand across her stomach.

“This is what happens when I am home with lots of time on my hands,” he smirked and kissed her.

“So, we are having another baby before our first one is a year old because you don’t have enough to keep you busy? You could get a job or volunteer at the pet shelter or you know, take up knitting.”

“But making love to you is my favorite hobby,” he murmured as his hands and lips wandered.

“Well, I am trying very hard to not vomit right now, so keep it in your pants, Echolls,” she kissed him one more time and stepped out of his embrace.

“Want some tea?” he went from horny to concerned with practiced ease.

“Yeah, thanks,” she squeezed his hand and headed to the little window seat in the breakfast nook, looking out over the ocean.

“I was thinking, what are we going to name this kid?” she asked as Logan put the kettle on and grabbed a couple mugs.

“Well, I am not naming my kid Neptune,” Logan grinned.

“Exactly, Sydney is a great name and while she could’ve been conceived in Brisbane, I think Sydney is perfect. If we name this one Neptune the gig is up,” she chuckled.

“What if we name her something like, Calliope, we could call her Cali,” Logan leaned on the counter and his arms were so enticing Veronica was almost willing to chance the morning sickness for a quickie.

“What is all this ‘she’ stuff, we don’t know if the baby is a girl.”

“It’s a girl.”

“You know this?”

He just nodded.

“OK, I like your thinking though and I kind of love Calliope and if it is a boy, we could name him Calvin and call him Cal. That wouldn’t be super obvious,” she smiled.

“It will get trickier with the next one, unless we move or go on lots of vacations….”

“The next one? Uh uh, this is it. You will be visiting your doctor for a little…” she used her fingers to mimic scissors.

“Because you cannot keep your hands off me and no form of birth control seems to stand up to our marathon sex life? Oooo a marathon, maybe that will be my next challenge,” he said as the kettle whistled.

“We do seem to test the boundaries of most standard birth controls yes and I like, no love, the spontaneity of our sex life and I hate taking drugs I don’t need to take.”

“If that is what you want, it is fine with me. Two kids are 2 more than I ever thought I would have, and the planet does not need a herd of new inhabitants. Besides, no matter how much money we have we only have so much time, I always wonder how families with tons of kids handle all the dance recitals and soccer games. I want to be at everything, I don’t want to miss a thing.”

“You won’t, you are here now, and I am not letting you out of my sight. I have spent too many years away from you and I never want to go through that again.”

“I am enjoying hormonal Veronica,” Logan said as he put her tea down and tucked her hair behind her ear.

“Just wait a few weeks you won’t be able to keep up with me,” she waggled her eyebrows and sipped the ginger tea.

“Can’t wait,” he winked.

“Are you OK? With everything?” she asked haltingly.

“What do you mean?”

“Your new life. You went from International Man of Mystery to stay-at-home dad. Are you bored? Are you worried? It’s been a year.”

“I am proud of my service and I am grateful for everything the Navy gave me and taught me when I needed it most, but I won’t get a chance like this again, to see my children grow and change every day. I want to see Sydney take her first steps and watch that little California raisin in there come squawking into the world.”

“Ooooo Ray, like sunshine, that could be a contender for a California name,” Veronica interjected.

“I’ll consider Ray for a girl, but not a boy, sounds too much like an accountant.”

“Girls can be accountants!”

“Yeah but a kickass female accountant named Ray is awesome.”

“I’ve lost the thread of this conversation,” Veronica admitted.

“Anyway, I am not bored. I highly doubt either of us will get bored with 2 kids in the house, if we do we might not actually be doing it right,” he grinned.

“I know I tease about the triathlon, but I am 100% behind whatever you want or need to do to keep yourself content.”

“Hey, no. I am so content; my heart is so full of you and Sydney and that nugget in there and Pony and Keith and Wallace and Shae and Noah and Mac…”

“OK, OK, I get it,” she laughed.

“I needed the Navy when I needed the Navy to teach me how to exist in a community, how to be a part of a team, how to be a functional adult human. I now have all of you and I never thought I would have that, Veronica. So, my life has changed a whole lot in the past year, but it isn’t less than what I had before, it is more, it is so much more,” he promised, and she leaned in to kiss him.

Just as she was reconsidering that quickie, the baby monitor signaled the end of Sydney’s nap.

“I’ll get her,” Veronica rose before Logan could protest.

***555***  
A couple of months later, Veronica still hadn’t told anyone about the new baby. Like her first pregnancy, she was enjoying keeping her secret with the added bonus of having Logan there to share it with her. Logan planned a dinner party for her dad and Wallace, Shae & Noah to do a big reveal.

“V, look at that,” Wallace whispered that evening as Veronica assembled snacks on a tray.

“What?” she said distractedly as a pile of crackers skittered off the counter and Pony pounced.

“Look,” Wallace stilled her arm and pointed.

Through the open plan first floor, Veronica could see their kids. Sydney was in a crawl and Noah was standing by the coffee table, he was showing her how to stand.

“Is your kid teaching my kid how to stand up? Where is my phone?” Veronica panicked.

“Logan’s got it,” Wallace pointed to the other side of the room where Logan was filming.

“Look at our kids,” Veronica said in awe.

“Who would’ve thought it,” Wallace flung an arm over her shoulder.

“I’m pregnant,” Veronica admitted.

“For real?” Wallace looked at her.

“Yep,” she popped the P.

“Well ain’t that fantastic,” he squeezed her tighter.

“I haven’t told Dad yet, so act surprised when we announce it at dinner.”

Wallace threw her a wink and then went to watch Noah giving sage guidance to his young friend.

“What’s cooking, daughter of mine?” Keith arrived and took Wallace’s place in the kitchen as Veronica checked the oven.

“Lasagna, Pops, you know, the only thing I can cook thanks to our shared love of ricotta cheese,” Veronica grinned and accepted a kiss on the cheek and a box of pastry.

“I come baring pastries someone else made, which kind of holds up that narrative,” he shrugged adorably.

“I’m pregnant,” she said out of the blue.

“Really?” Keith’s smile softened into a sweet grin.

“Yeah, think you can handle one more grandkid?”

“You told him?” Logan appeared ready to show Keith the video of Noah helping Sydney.

“I told Wallace too, I have absolutely no self-control, which really is why I am in this particular predicament,” she pointed at her stomach.

Logan smirked and Keith rolled his eyes.

“You two…”

“…are going to be the death of you. We know, you’ve been saying that for almost 20 years, yet here you are alive and well,” Veronica teased.

“We gave him a break for almost a decade,” Logan reasoned as he wrapped his arms around Veronica from behind and rested his hands on her stomach.

“Oh, you both gave me plenty to worry about in those years. She lived alone in New York and you were flying planes? Yeah I wasn’t the least bit concerned.”

Logan looked surprised.

“You have always been part of the family, kid,” Keith smiled and left the couple alone.

***555***  
At 7 months pregnant, Veronica seemed to pee more than she slept at night. Every time she woke up, she would kiss Logan’s shoulder or his chest or his wrist, whichever part she could reach without waking him. He was here, he had been here for over a year. No deployments, no fear.

When Veronica woke to pee at the crack of dawn and found him not in the bed her heart raced a bit. It was early, the sky still more dark than light. She peed before going in search of her husband. 

Her first stop was the nursery, where Sydney slept with one arm flung over her head and the other down by her side, her legs star fished out taking up maximum real estate. She was snuffling peacefully and there was no sign of Logan.

She checked the gym, the office and the whole open plan living room, kitchen and there was no sign of him. She felt tears threaten. She knew he was here; she knew it wasn’t all a dream, she had the baby down the hall and the baby in her stomach, but she had to swallow the bile of the feelings she still dealt with still to this day.

He almost died. It was her fault. That bomb should have killed him. The Navy saved him. Not me. I almost got him killed.

She took a deep breath and looked up and there he was, on their beach near the rough surf and he wasn’t alone. Veronica moved closer to the French doors leading to the backyard as she recognized the person standing opposite her husband.

“Oh, hell no,” she murmured as she took the baby monitor in one hand and headed barefoot out the door and down the sloped lawn to the sand below.

“Why are you here?” she shouted over the surf and startled a few birds off the beach.

“Hello, Mrs. Echolls,” Clarence Weidman said with a smile, “are you still pregnant?” he looked at her baby bump, her thin nightgown blowing in the morning breeze.

“What?” Veronica replied confused.

He just looked at her stomach.

“She’s pregnant again,” Logan grinned, “you haven’t seen her in over a year Clarence, how long do you think women are pregnant?”

“Right,” the older man nodded as if he really had no idea.

“Why are you here?” Veronica repeated through gritted teeth.

“Stand down, Veronica, I just came to pass on some news,” Clarence held up his hands in surrender.

Veronica looked at Logan who looked solemn.

“My CO died,” Logan informed.

“Oh,” Veronica let out a long breath and leaned over as far as her stomach allowed. 

“I am heading out of the country in an hour, I wanted to tell him in person,” Clarence continued.

“You OK?” Logan approached his wife and rubbed her back.

She just nodded.

“I’m sorry if I scared you,” Clarence gave a slight smile, “I have to ship out,” he looked at Logan who nodded and held out his hand.

“Give my best to the unit,” Logan said as he shook hands and Clarence headed down to the public entrance of their stretch of beach.

“Fuck,” Veronica breathed out and rubbed at her eyes.

“You OK?” Logan asked again unsure her last nod was accurate.

“I panicked. I woke up and you were gone and the past 2 years flashed in front of my eyes and you were outside the window and my car was blowing up and you were gone,” she rushed out as she tried to regulate her breathing.

“I’m right here,” he whispered against the crown of her head as she wrapped her arms around his waist.

“I know. I know,” she kept repeating.

“Come on, it’s cold out here,” he nudged her to move and they struggled up the sand as she refused to let go of him.

By the time they were through the door her mouth was on his and she was tugging his shirt off over his head. She was good with up against the counter in the kitchen, but Logan encouraged her back to their warm soft bed. He stripped off her nightgown and his shorts before he crawled into the bed and encouraged her on top of him.

She wanted nothing more than to feel him inside her, feel his hands on her skin and his mouth on her mouth.

“Slow down, babe, I’m not going anywhere,” he promised with a smile as Veronica moved furiously on top of him.

“I need more, all of you, I need all of you,” she admitted through breathy moans.

“Always, Veronica, always,” he promised as he touched her just right and she fell apart above him, the most beautiful sight he had ever seen.

As Logan held her and they watched the sky turn fully blue and bright he kissed her cheek.

“I’m sorry you were scared, but I love how you deal with your fear now, how you deal with your emotion.”

“Sex?” she asked confused, because they never had a problem with hiding their issues behind great sex.

“No, that is a delightful side benefit, but you actually talk now, you tell me what you feel, I can see it on your face. No masks, no hiding,” he found her hand, the one she had her wedding and engagement ring on and kissed her knuckles.

“I thought I was better, I thought I was over it,” she sniffled.

“It doesn’t end, the fear and the memories of all our traumas, they don’t go away. We just learn how to deal with them, how to help each other and let others help us. You don’t fix what is wrong with us, we didn’t break an arm that just needed a cast and some time to heal.”

“I don’t want to be broken,” she whispered.

“We are. It’s not our fault, but life broke us and there will be moments that hurt more than others, that test us. All we can do is be there for each other, surround ourselves with people who love us and can catch us if we fall,” he spoke right against her ear, his words warm and soft and she nodded her understanding.

“I am sorry I caused you worry today, but I am glad you let me see you, really see you.”

Veronica snuggled back into his embrace and hoped Sydney slept for another hour as her eyes drifted closed.

***555***

“Well, who do we have here?” Keith said quietly as he approached the hospital bed where his daughter was holding his newest granddaughter.

“Dad, meet Calliope,” Veronica smiled, she looked exhausted but beautiful as she held the pile of blankets out to her father.

“Hello, Calliope, I’m Grandpa,” Keith beamed through watery eyes.

“Baba!” Sydney announced from Logan’s arms.

“That means baby,” Logan translated with a grin.

“Yes, this is your baby sister,” Keith moved around the bed to stand next to Logan.

“Here!” Sydney said, everything she said was a proclamation.

“Yes, the baby is here now,” Logan said as Sydney reached out to touch her sister’s cheek.

“Mine!” she squealed, and the 3 adults laughed.

“She was getting very impatient waiting for the baby,” Veronica explained.

“She wasn’t the only one, I am so excited to meet you, Calliope,” Keith cooed at the baby who opened her bright blue eyes to him for the first time and his heart melted.

“Wow,” he whispered.

Keith balanced the baby in one arm and reached his other out to Logan, clasped his arm.

“Thank you,” Keith beamed, and Logan just nodded.

“Look at my family,” Veronica said, a little shaky, “my two girls and my two boys.”

Keith and Logan grinned back at her goofily and she realized it was all worth it, all the trauma all of the break-ups and make-ups, 9 years of radio silence, deployments and near death experiences for all 3 of them, it was worth it because this was waiting for them, all of them.

“I am a very lucky woman.”

The End


End file.
